About Me

I'm not just looking off in the distance in an artistic manner. 

I'm also developing a fabulous essay in my head. 

Of course it's entirely possible none of those things is going on, in which case

I'm merely standing around waiting for someone to take my picture.  

This is the far more likely scenario.

I am an essayist. You should know that before we go any further. But unlike many legendary essayists - Moses, for example - I'm really good at uploading digital images to my blog. It's too bad for Moses, because there is no question Leviticus would go down a lot easier with a few pix of Miriam and Aaron waving at the camera from atop a couple of camels.

That geometrically interesting item behind me is my Yamaha grand piano. 

I love it for two reasons:  One, it's big and black and shiny, and two, I can park it in the motorcycle slots at Walmart.

I realize it looks like I'm pinching my own cheek here, but that's only because I'm almost positive I'm adorable.

Or it could be that I left my BMI calipers at the gym and was really needing an accurate read on those jowls.

As for the title of my blog, a little background: I have a BA in Music Ed from the University of Utah but have never taught a day of school as a contract teacher. (I've wandered into the office asking for directions to the cafetorium and been shang-hai'd into subbing the occasional music class, but everyone involved has apologized.) I spent ten years living in the one city on the planet I vowed I would never, ever live.  And then I returned to Utah, something I was pretty sure would only happen after a full lobotomy.
 
 
 

Don't be fooled; behind that kind and pleasant exterior beats the heart of ...um... well, actually, a very kind and pleasant guy. 

But he's got the gall bladder of a killer, people.  Seriously.  We're talking 'coiled spring' here.

And don't even get me STARTED on his foul-tempered appendix.

AND I'm married to a guy in law enforcement despite the fact I swore I'd rather hitch my wagon to a carney than spend my life worrying if my husband was coming home at night. In short, the life I'm sure I signed up for has apparently been on back order for the last 26 years. But go figure, I'm actually enjoying this rental life I'm living until FedEx delivers my real one.
 
Now, as if all of this weren't enough, I'm also a professional writer, consultant, and public speaker, and I'm the mother of four great kids and three terrible ones. (Ha!  Just kidding about those last three.  But don't you always expect people to follow up those kinds of statements with that last bit?  "I'm here with my lovely wife, Buffy.  We left Gertrude - the ugly one - chained to the water heater.") 
 
Relax and enjoy yourselves here in my virtual living room.  Just please don't drink all the digital Diet Coke.