Saturday, April 7, 2012

Miserere Mei Deus

I don't want to detract from this beautiful day, this beautiful season, so I won't go into the experiences and thoughts that have brought me to this place.

As I get older I find I'm trading answers for questions; being in what is hopefully 'middle age' means I probably have equal numbers of both.

And some of my 'answers' I've traded for a willingness to let go of things that I finally understand I'll never understand.

This much I'm sure of: There is far more mercy in the Atonement of Jesus Christ than we sometimes want there to be, as though there were a limit to how much grace there is to go around. And if I can be forgiven for being the petty, selfish, silly woman I voluntarily elect to be, how much more willing must a loving Savior be to bless and transform the life of someone whose struggles are not of their choosing?

It's been a good week for reflection. A good week for reconsidering the 'givens' in my life.

A good week for rebirth.


L.T. Elliot said...

I saw that painting up close and in real life once. There's nothing quite like seeing it before your eyes. Somehow, it just felt like you were on the edge of that moment.

Sometimes, I feel like I need that same angel to lean against--only it isn't the angel. It's Him. And I find myself at His feet asking hundreds more questions than I have answers for and helpless in the states I've both brought on and haven't brought on.

Grateful for you. Grateful for your deep, deep well and how silly and wonderful and compassionate you are.

wendy said...

Hmmm....I liked the sentence of Letting go of the things you understand and yet don't understand.
I need to do that...let go for sure of the things I do not understand, and may never understand in this life.

Kazzy said...

It HAS been a good time for reflection, but that seems to be all I do in these nostalgic late 40s. It's good though. And I know what you are feeling when you speak of being forgiven for your voluntary foibles. Keep in mind that our sins and our problems are usually relative. We can only compare our growth to our own situation.

Thanks for being my friend.

Becca said...

Amen. Forgiveness and reflection, and it feels heavy if we let it be heavy. And if we manage to let it go, somehow it goes. That's a miracle to me.