Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Verficationally Disabled

Holy frijoles, Nacho!  You all had plenty to say on the subject of vinyl lettering.  I'm continually amazed at the little things that bring us together.

Even Ken Craig over at Part Time Authors wrote about it -- all without having first read my post.  I know he received this revelation entirely on his own, for two reasons:
  • Ken doesn't read my blog very often, which is something I resent.  A lot.
  • He was getting back at me for spontaneously using one of his vinyl lettering quotes in my introduction to his presentation at the Story at Home conference.  I said, "All Because Two People Had to Get Married," in response to his claim that while his oldest child is 14, he and his wife have been married just ten years.  Ha!  He was totally joshing of course.  His mother-in-law was sitting on the front row, and she chuckled instead of lobbing a grenade down his V-neck, so I know it was all in good fun.
In retaliation, he used one of mine in his post: "TiVo: The Center of our Home."  Now we're even, and I hope Ken and I can put this ugly episode of co-plagiarism behind us once and for all.

Honestly?  I was surprised at how snarky so many of you are.  And I've never felt closer to you than I did with that post.  Sniff.

I did love the quotes Stephanie sent me.  She went clear back to ancient Greece to dig up some awesome stuff about grown kids moving in with you that I found most amusing.  Not that I have any problem with grown kids moving in with me (seriously, son, it's fine) but still, if it becomes an issue I'll know just what to slap on my wall, right over the door to the guest room.

So thanks, to one and all!

Now, on to a serious matter, one that I've wanted to discuss for a long time.

We're friends, right?  We can talk about ... delicate ... subjects, can't we?  Just so long as it's not sex.  Or the Twilight movies.  Or anything to do with the Las Vegas housing market.  Especially not that one.

No, I want to ask a favor.

For the love of Mr. Magoo will you puh-LEEZE turn off the word verifications on your blogs?

I know you don't want robots commenting on your posts.  I get that.  Off hand, I can't think of anything I would want a robot to do, except my laundry and the dishes and the vacuuming and maybe the raising of some -- but certainly not all -- of my children.

And there is nothing more aggravating than a comment that says, "great blog I like visit bork-bork tree come my website" and a URL that, when clicked, causes your hard drive to burst into flame.

Seriously, except for war, starvation, and human trafficking, that really is the most upsetting thing that could possibly happen to anyone.

But those word verifications have just gotten completely out of control.  They don't take into account the fact that bloggers spend all day staring at computer screens, and are therefore legally blind.

Not only that, as a generation, we bloggers are getting old.  Some of you are, what? 30? 31?  Who can learn a new, anti-robot language at that advanced age?  Goodness, we're still working on the surgical removal of whatever adolescent glandular holdover drives you to type LOL into everything.

There are spam blockers. There is comment moderation. There are small nuclear devices which can be launched straight from Google headquarters (ctrl-alt-annihilate) toward any robot lair that threatens to hijack your blog and use it for nefarious purposes, like selling state secrets to terrorists, or doTERRA oils to suckers. 

(Hel-LO? Ever heard of just rubbing a candy cane on your feet?)

If something isn't done about this soon, I will be forced to stop commenting on your blogs.  As it is, I'm pretty much the only one still doing that, so you don't want to tick me off.

And now, because I'm a staunch believer in tying in the end of a blog post with the beginning, I leave you with a song:

"Incarnació-hónnn... removeyourwordverification por favo-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-hor..."

(and while you're at it, get that corn outta my face)


whitey said...

I read a blog the other day that stated " I will no longer leave comments on blogs that have word verification" I think this is a good idea. I already spend to much ( a lot of ) time in spell check .

Jenny P. said...

Look! It's me! Leaving a comment! Blogger's spam filter is so good these days, I don't see the point of word verification. I get several emails a day that are spam comments. I see them, but they never actually make it on to the blog. Once in a blue moon, I'll check the spam filter on blogger to see if any real comments slipped through. I think it's happened maybe once? So I'm with you. Word verification must be banned!

L.T. Elliot said...

The TIVO phrase is worth stealing. Just had to say it.

Holy batman, I freaking love your posts. You're the funniest and wittiest woman alive, I swear. (But don't tell my sister that or she'll disown me. She's pretty witty too. But I'll NEVER forget the flock of concussed seagulls. Best half-hour laugh of my life.)

I hate word verifier. I hate it. Haaaate it. <---- And that COULD be one! Agh!

Now, I need to borrow some swwweats. =P

Kristina P. said...

I had no idea that the Captcha could get any worse. And then it did. And now there are TWO words that look like they are in Chinese.

The only captcha I need? Mario. Lopeza.

sues2u2 said...

Yes, yes, yes! Seriously? Word verification drives me bonkers! So... thank you from the bottom of my heart, DeNae. You said it all!

Shawna Faye said...

Seriously, word verification has become the bane of my existence. Or at least my online existence. It used to not be so bad, but lately it has started to pop up with two sqiggly lines that are supposedly words. It's driving me mad.

Leeann Ward said...

Amen! Amen! Amen!!

I am actually blind, so I have to use the audio, which is hardly audible, so I've stopped commenting on blogs that require word varifications as well.

seashmore said...

For all of you looking to post comments on blogs without word verification, I don't have it on mine.
Just sayin......

And I don't get how they can be called "words" when they can't be found in the dictionary.

NatureGirl said...

I hope this is not too forward, but Will you be mine forever?

AS Amber said...

You had me at the picture of Nacho Libre. We can't eat corn at our house without someone telling someone else to get that corn outa my face!

WV = death

Garden of Egan said...

That picture of Nacho Libre scared me for a minute.
I thought you were donning a cape or something. Then I went and put my glasses on.

Amen to the verification thingy. It is redonkulous.

I'm ok with a robot/spambot thing. It's nice to be remembered.

Kazzy said...


The Crash Test Dummy said...

Agreed. I turned my off a few weeks ago and I haven't gotten a single spam comment. I don't know whether to be relieved or offended that I'm not that in demand, you know?

High Five about the Hunger Games for Mormons. I think it was my favorite joke of all time. I burst into giggles every time I think about a bunch of inactives in an arena being hunted down and fellowshipped by the actives. hee hee hee

Becca said...

I'm sure I had something witty to say per WV, but all I can think of now is this: "Tgey think I don't know a buttload of crap about the gospel, but I DO."

tammy said...

Amen. If it takes me longer to type in the word verification than my comment, I just delete the whole thing.

wendy said...

I HATE that word verification garbage.I can't see the letters....I DID NOT LEARN LATIN when I was in school.
and I don't have a urim and thumin (or however you spell it) handy.

thank you for being pro-active and putting that out there.

btw....did you use my vinyl suggestion??(tee,hee)

nah, didn't think so.

LisAway said...

I didn't even know about the vinyl lettering thing until a few months ago. Just one of the many advantages of living on the other side of the world.

I personally feel that typing word verification "words" is a personal talent of mine. Seriously. I give myself a high five every time I type it right the first time.

And thank you so much for the candy cane idea!! I had seriously never heard of it before! Now I have to figure out who to give my oils to.

Stepper the Mighty said...

Jeez - I already made my font bigger just for you. Next you'll be asking us to use Post titles that allude to something pertaining to the actual post.

Persnickety, much?

(I used to enjoy a good verification now and again. Got some really good ideas for villain names. But, yeah. Now I feel like saying a simple "Ha! Good one!" is as difficult as hacking national security.)