Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Just Catching Up

This is a picture of me being a writer.
See how I'm thinking, "Why the heck am I holding a pen
when there's a perfectly good computer in the next room?'
Writers think stuff like that.
All the time.

Ugh!  I'm tired of promoting my stuff!  Especially when what I really want to do is talk to you about this dream I had.  I know, I've said I'd rather fork out my spleen and serve it with gravy than listen to other people's dreams.  But this is MY dream, so it's far superior to those lesser, boringer dreams.

But first, just a reminder that the Story @ Home conference is March 9 & 10, and there are still tickets.  It's going to be uber awesome, and if you don't attend you'll just wind up doing something lame like bonding with your family.  (Here's a link:

And you still have time to pre-order "Tell Me Who I Am" before its release date on March 8.  Right now it's just $10.50 plus shipping, which is less than a decent salad, diet Coke, and frosty at Wendy's, and is also guaranteed not to make you fat, even if you eat it.  See the 'add to cart' button over there by that gigantic picture of the book.

And I'm almost done with the zero draft of my novel.  That's what Becca calls it: The draft that you vomit out before revising it into something that utilizes fancy things like the English language and a plot.  Another couple of weeks of burnt offerings in my behalf would be appreciated.  Then we should be good.

OK.  So.  My dream.  It's very straightforward:  I was dating George Clooney, and he was super into me. Really. Kept holding my hand and everything.  THAT'S how into me George was.

And just when he was ready to kiss me -- you know, the kiss of 'I want you all to myself, you incredibly desirable middle-aged housewife, you' -- he morphed into Kelsey Grammer, who then confessed that he was already married and couldn't go on a honeymoon with me because he was entering court ordered rehab again.

I put this on Facebook and got some terrific feedback.  But I still would like your evaluations on the mental state of anyone who would have such a dream and then blog about it at one o'clock in the morning.

It's George Clooney's fault, right?  He just can't settle down. And I'm clearly worried about him because he may one day wake up with Kelsey's hair and drug habit, and then where will he be?

That's probably it.  But feel free to analyze me while you sign up for the conference, order TMWIA, toss a goat onto the altar for my novel, and scarf down a Wendy's salad.

You know I'd do it for you.


Kristina P. said...

You look adorable in that picture. I just want to eat your cheeks!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Ha! I have dreams like that all the time. I think it's a sign of sheer genius, bordering insanity.

Do you sleep with your arms above your head too?

FINALLY put the book cover and ADD TO CART button on my side bar, btw.

Christine Macdonald said...

Totally George's fault. He wants you. After he's done with me, that is.


Becca said...

I had something to say. But the goat on the altar wiped it right from my mind.

Go figure.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

Zero draft, huh? Becca's been helping me read a little and she's never even mentioned that. I must still have some work to do. What comes before zero?

I told you before that your dream was a book in vision form, but it was still missing something. Your post brought the answer: a goat. Now THAT's a story.

Karen Peterson said...

I think it's obvious that George knows you're too good for him. That's what it was all about.

Kazzy said...

Look at your cute self!

So, were you an Italian supermodel in the dream? Or an anorexic blond looking to be on Real Housewives?

wendy said...

Wow, the conference is just around the corner. I WANT TO BE THERE (as I sob uncontrollably)
alas, no one would pay for my plane ticket there.
It's ok.......economy is tight right now.

I think Kazzy had a pretty good evaluation on your dream.

Maybe you feel sorry for middle aged, gorgeous, Insecure, sex craved men....and felt like you could fill those empty holes for him.
Cause you are a giving caring soul.
Then, him morfing into Kesley Gramar...that is just the scary part.
Why would you ruin a sex symbol like George...and put in Kelsey.
(I think I have used the word "sex" too many times now)

It's this whole "family history conference thingy" that you are thinking about.
You just want George to BELONG to something bigger then himself (good luck with that)
and if that doesn't work for him
he does what all people do
turns to drugs
and finds the love of his life in Rehab
actually..........I don't know what I am talking about.

L.T. Elliot said...

Every now and then, I have a dream like this and they kind of freak me out. And sometimes, I wake up all confused like waking up is the dream and where the hell is my George Clooney?