DeNae's Salute to Fudge, Day 23:
Today you'll do the annual 'dry run,' where you lock the bedroom door and pull out all the
crap wonder and joy you've been acquiring for the last five weeks .
I advise you to take with you all the fudge remaining in the house, as well as the Vesuvius cookies, the stained-glass candy and gingerbread Nutcracker replica, and the 62,000 plates of Rice Krispies treats that have been delivered to your home by your super duper neighborly neighbors.
A case of Diet Coke wouldn't hurt, either. And a pound of Valium.
This is because upon opening all the bags and boxes, and sorting everything into the appropriate 'piles,' you will discover that you bought so many gifts for three of your kids you'll have to build an addition to the house to store them all, and your fourth child has in his pile one package of boxer briefs and a copy of "Ariel's Soggy Sing-Along" on VHS, received as the result of a serious miscommunication with eBay.
Yeah, you're going to have to go back to HellMart. I'm so, so sorry.
Before you go, however, polish off that fudge. And add marshmallows to your shopping list, cuz it ain't over yet.