Friday, December 9, 2011

¿Quién es Más Estúpido?

Imagine that there is a picture of someone in traction here.
Believe me, you don't want to see the actual pictures that come up
when you Google "pictures of people in traction."
Don't do it.
I mean it.
You'll be sorry.

DeNae's Salute to Fudge, Day 9:

Early in the season, your husband was perfectly content with strapping reindeer antlers on the dog and calling the house 'trimmed.'  However, since your move to the land of All Things Perfect, he feels stirrings of "¿Quién es más macho?" every time he pulls into the cul de sac and sees the neighbors' houses so comprehensively illuminated you could get a tan just by lying in the road for an hour.

Today, you came home to find him on the roof, writing out the entire text of Luke Chapter Two in LED lights.  He asks you to keep an eye out for the UPS truck, on accounta he's having live Elves overnighted from Mythical-Creatures-Reverse R-Us so he can show that stuck-up Marty Cranston how real men do a Santa's Workshop Yard Display. 

Make sure you have enough fudge for the news crew, the paramedics, and the president of the Homeowners Association.

Marty Cranston thinks he's so great, he can make his own damn fudge.


Jenny P. said...

I love you, so, so much. My, oh my, this is funny.

Have you seen the photo circulating around facebook that has a house all it up and decorated, and then one right next door that just has the word "Ditto" in christmas lights across the top of the garage?

We don't have any christmas lights up. We live on a dead end road, in the middle of the woods. The kids a ask every year if we can decorate the outside of the house, which I think is stupid because no one drives past our house and WE wouldn't be able to see the lights from inside, so what would be the point? They don't like that line of reasoning so I just tell them the lights might scare the bears and raccoons and cause them to attack. I'm all about realistic parenting...

esbboston said...

I decorated for Halloween by letting a real spider live on the light by my front door. No, I didn't even go to the trouble of getting a spider, he just felt sorry for us and volunteered. It's Texas, most everyone and everything are a lil more friendly.