Who is this exceptionally attractive newscaster?
No, it's not Tom Brokaw.
Holy Frijoles, Nacho! Just two days 'til we break out the stretchy pants and wear them in our rooms - just for fun - or to Walmart, just to fit in.
And with Thanksgiving comes the opportunity to pause and, you know, give thanks. For stuff.
Like my blog, for instance. I hope you remember to be thankful for the minutes and minutes I pour into making this bastion of light and knowledge the...um...bastion of light and knowledge - er, into which I have...made...it.
This! This is why exceptionally attractive newscasters use teleprompters.
I have been busier than a cat nine miles from dirt, as my somewhat demented mother always says. I'm not sure what the cat is doing, exactly - hitchhiking? please! cats don't even have banjos! - but clearly any cat that is nine miles from dirt is CRAZY busy.
A couple of weeks ago I visited LDS Business College as part of the LDS Bloggers Give Back initiative I've been part of all month. Yes, I am an LDS blogger, which evidently comes as a surprise to the good folks running BYU's on-campus Internet whatchamahoozie. Evidently this blog is blocked -- you heard me, B-L-O-C-K-E-D -- from the BYU campus.
I bet they haven't blocked Sheri Dew's blog, even though I know for a FACT that she didn't once get 85 comments on a post about falling down in public.
On the other hand, I was voted Most Popular LDS Blogger of the Millennium by the American Heathens and Heretics Association -- aha-HA for short -- a stunning bit of news I just now this minute totally made up.
(Try fabricating on the fly like that, Sheri!)
Where was I?
Oh, yes. At LDS Business College.
While there, I met Sarah, who is one of the single moms on the scholarship we're raising money for.
This is me with Sarah.
Sarah's the one with the Australian accent.
Sarah has not been dealt an easy hand, starting with having once been married to -- and I say this with all the kindness of my spleen -- a complete chowderhead. She has four little kids, and without this scholarship and the opportunities it is providing for her, they would likely spend the rest of their childhoods living at or below the poverty level.
If you haven't yet felt the nudge to give even a dollar to this incredibly worthwhile project, consider yourself nudged right now. Also, if you donate and come back and tell me about it, you could win my annual "I'll Write Your Family Christmas Letter" contest.
I say this blushingly: My Family Christmas Letters are works of art. Seriously. "How The Handys Did 2007" is hanging in the Louvre.
(Ha! Would you have ever come up with a whopper like that one, Dew? I thought not.)
Anyway, as I was driving home from LDSBC - where I took a bunch of pictures and also had a great sit-down with President Larry Richards, who is quite possibly the most serene man I ever met who wasn't an oil painting - I got a text message from Barett Christensen.
I know! Can you believe it?? Barett Christensen texted me!! Eeee!
For the five of you still living in caves, he's the second most serene man on earth after President Richards, and is the guy who invited me to be a part of this project to begin with.
Anyway, I certainly did NOT read his text while doing Warp 6 down I-80, because that would have been foolhardy. Warp 4, maybe. But at Warp 6 my iPhone starts to dissolve and the screen is too fuzzy to read. So I waited until I had pulled into McDonald's and ordered my hot fudge sundae and Diet Coke to read my message.
Barett asked if I would like to be interviewed on KSL radio, to which I responded, "Goodness no. I'm such a shrinking violet I would simply keel over from an excess of modesty."
Wow! That was a good one, huh? Of course I didn't say even one of those words. Pssh. Don't make me laugh.
I think I said, "Yes."
So a couple of days later, I was interviewed by Mary Richards, who didn't look at all like she did on the Mary Tyler Moore show. And if you got that joke, man, you're old.
This is Mary and me.
Mary's the one who was celebrating her wedding anniversary by interviewing me.
I'm telling you, those folks at KSL know how to par-TAY.
Anyway, Mary asked me something like, "So, DeNae -- may I call you DeNae?" after which I talked non-stop for two days.
And the next morning, the interview was on the radio, like, FIVE TIMES!!
How was it on there so often in a single day when I recorded a full 48 hours of material, you ask? Beats me. Magic, I guess. There had to be something supernatural at work, because all of that talking came out sounding like maybe nine seconds.
But they were nine, action-packed seconds. Somewhere around the eleventh second, I had so totally wowed the story editor that he felt the need to change my last name to "Hansen" in case I became so famous right there on the spot that my fans rushed the studio, as heathens and heretics are wont to do.
But here's what I told them during those nine seconds:
90% of single parent homes are headed by a mother. And that mother is likely to earn 25% of what a couple would earn.
That's bad math, my darling bloggy friends. And make no mistake, at some point our communities are handed a bill for the difference.
If you have anything -- anything at all -- to be thankful for this week, then please, in behalf of those who can not do for themselves what we can do for them, give what you can to help save a mom.
And anyone in the vicinity of BYU? Could you pass this message along to those guys? For some reason, I keep getting a busy signal.