Lifelike rendering of very large-eyed owl by Danilo Rizzuti
Once again it's time for O-WOW, the opportunity to bask in the glow of my brillianacity and uber geniusness and stuff.
Today, I have a dose of spiritual advice to offer. Fold your arms, please. And bow your heads. And close your eyes. That eye closing one is super important. It helps you to focus on what I'm saying. And it makes it easier for me to eat the last brownie without getting caught.
Fasting is a very good way to cleanse the body, invigorate the soul, and receive answers to prayers. However, if you are fasting and praying that others will think you are sick or are recovering from surgery or just had a baby, and will bring dinner to your house for when your fast is over and you're, like, crazy hungry, you should know this almost never happens. Also, they will want to hold the baby.