Wednesday, May 11, 2011

O Wise One Wednesday - Home Edition

Oh, wow! Did I really go from O-WOW to O-WOW without a between-WOW blog post?  Well for heaven's sake, go eat something, particularly if you've taken the vibe from last week's O-WOW post and have been fasting all this time. 

Fasting for DeNae to blog more than once a week is just going hungry, people.  Write it down. 

This week's O-WOW comes to you from the Home Improvement Well O' Wisdom, and it's something I've advised you on before.  But it bears repeating.  Like, every ten minutes.

*ahem*

Never paint a wall you can't see. 

"Why would I do such a foolish thing?" you ask. 

I'll tell you why. 

You're standing on a twenty foot ladder that requires industrial hoists to move it across the room.  You have a pan of paint that is just enough bigger than the ladder's 'paint platform' that it teeters ominously every time you blink.  You've just slathered up your roller.  And you're maybe eighteen inches from rounding the corner.

And that fume-crazed voice in your head says, "Hey, look!  You've got some extra paint on that roller.  And this part of the wall is already a nice, lemon yellow.  Why not just keep going, right around that corner - you know, finish things off so you don't drip?"

And the other fume-crazed voice in your head - the one in charge of moving your arm - says, "First fume-crazed voice, you are a freaking genius.  Arm?  Paint on."

So you just keep on a-rollin', right around that corner to a wall that, technically, is beyond your line of sight, smug in the certainty that you are the smartest, most efficient lemon-yellow paint applier ever to raid Home Depot.

Without having ever set foot in your home, without knowing how you've chosen to decorate or where you normally hang important, irreplaceable items, I can tell you without question that your wedding picture is now sporting a dashing stripe of lemon yellow paint, obliterating all evidence of the once-happy couple and drying fast. 

See?  I told you I was wise.

13 comments:

Wendys Hat said...

Good thing yellow matches nearly everything! Are you for hire?

Kristina P. said...

This is why you just become wealthy like me and hire someone to paint.

Dixie Mom said...

I would have destroyed the vintage wall paper in this house if I'd done that....darn the luck.
By the way...are you up for a painting job?

Jessica said...

Just a little jauntice. Nothing too bad.

Cheeseboy said...

Brilliant advice. You sound ready to paint my bathroom now.

Brandy Rose said...

Hahahaha...I mean, good advice.

wendy said...

Take all paintings/photos off your walls (ALL OF THEM incase you become fume-crazed) before painting---check.

Scooby and Jon said...

That is excellent advice. Also- if you are pregnant and cleaning a mildewy shower, open the window BEFORE spraying the bleach spray. (Do it even if you're not pregnant, cuz WOW).

M-Cat said...

And yet another reason for me to NOT ever paint. That is what Splenda is for.

Lara said...

Good thing my wedding pictures are not hanging on walls.

Melanie Jacobson said...

This is why I refuse to participate in anything paint related. And that's up to an including the selection of paint colors.

My WV is seaxole. What does that mean?

annie valentine said...

Paint is overrated (so are wedding pictures).

Kazzy said...

I actually love to paint. I know. Crazy.