Wednesday, April 20, 2011

O Wise One Wednesday

You know, hardly a day goes by but what someone asks me, "DeNae, how did you get so darn wise?"

Of course, because they know how modest I am, they use code words like "opinionated," "stuck up," and the always popular "full of total crap."

But I know they mean "wise."

It's true.  I've packed a lot of learning in these last four and seven-tenths decades.  And a lot of baking.  And a lot of Law and Order reruns, after they stopped showing Magnum P.I. reruns and Perry Mason reruns.

So you can see how it's entirely possible that I do, in fact, know everything. 

And I've decided it's high time I start off-loading some of that wisdom onto you, mostly to clear a space for Chuck reruns and the recipe for those cookies you make with yellow cake mix.

Introducing "O Wise One Wednesday."

While everyone else is going wordless - and you should know that every time someone chooses not to use words on their blogs the terrorists win - I am going to be dropping big gobs of words onto blogland like a seagull on a sunbather.

I know.  I give and I give.

Feel free to ask me questions, or seek advice, or make suggestions - although I've already heard that 'shut up and get a real job' one, like, a zillion times - for consideration and publication on O-WOW.

Today's installment comes from my own experiences with PTAs, symphony boards, church congregations, and Wal Mart checkout lines.


Everyone, everywhere, is completely insane. There are no exceptions. You are also, and I mean this as kindly as possible, totally bonkers. 

It may take a while, but eventually folks will reveal their brand of crazy.  It will likely happen at a time when doing so will set off a domino drop of crazy, resulting, if everything goes well, in the irreversible collapse of civilization.

The sooner you accept that every person on your committee, in your family, at the office, or waiting their turn for the lice-wash is nuttier than a peach orchard squirrel, the sooner you can get to work on something productive.

It's remarkable what a gaggle of lunatics can accomplish. 

Owl image by Danilo Rizzuti


Scooby and Jon said...

Thank you for the reminder- it's hard to remember that sometimes!

Kazzy said...

Oh, Wise One, I bow to your knowledge and insight.

Maybe next week you can fill us in on the appropriate pills to solve this pervasive problem.

Momza said...

Love this! So much better than Wordless Wednesday...which to me signals "Skip My Blog Day".
I see this catching on like a fire in the desert.
As for being nutz--I tell my yahoos all the time that if they drive me crazy, I'm taking them all with me and I'm goin' the scenic route!

Great post!

Kristina P. said...

You are wise like I am humble.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Truer words were never said. Very sage advice.

Lisa Loo said...

I have already come to terms with this fact, embraced it and tango with it on a daily basis.
Serenity is fleeting--being chemically balanced is FOREVER.

I have always dreamed of a wordfull wednesday--you are my hero.......

Cheeseboy said...

That is indeed wise. Very wise.

I forgot that it was Wednesday. I need to post nothing again. Thanks for the reminder.

Kim Bee said...

this makes me feel better....I will not be ashamed of my insanity! I will shout it from the rooftops - INSANE AND PROUD! Now I dont feel so bad for taking my crazy pills for postpartum, who cares that my baby is five! Go us.....

Wendys Hat said...

Love it O Wise One! I've been toying with the idea for a weekly feature for my little blog. The one I really like is questionable. Yours gave me more inspiration. Thanks.

Becca said...

And that sense of wisdom is why we get along so very well. No friend is a better friend than the one who tells you what you already knew.

Motherboard said...

You are the Master, and I am your pad-wan, O Wise One.

InkMom said...

I lived for Perry Mason. And I was, like, seven, the last time it was on TV. Perry Mason was what I did with my grandmother. That and Lawrence Welk -- also in reruns, obviously, since I'm such a spring chicken. Sigh. Those were the good old days.

I'd say something about your wisdom, but, really, who am I to feed the beast? I wouldn't want you to get a big head or anything! (Careful -- you might catch up to moi.)

wendy said...

I think I am going to love your Wise One Wednesday...O Wise One!!!
I need someone wise in my life
cause JUST LIKE YOU SAID, loud and clear, over and out, austa la vista(have no idea how to spell that)
The WORLD is full of lunatics.

except me
and YOU...the Wise One.

can't wait for the next revelation.
It's good I live in the country and am most often Luncatic free...except for my husband and dog
I wonder about them sometimes.

wendy said...

I was thinking of doing a "take it off Tuesday (in honor of Kristina of course)
she's support me on that one.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

hee hee hee I like this. Except I always substitute the word weird for crazy. hee hee

Love the little birdie at the top.

I always smile and giggle all the way through your posts. hee heeh

So, I wish I knew someone who rhymes with ShneNae who lives in Vegas since I'm going to be there this weekend. hee hee No, I am not doing social, unless you want to catch a temple session on Friday morning. I did not want to go on this trip because I love it when my hub is out of town so I can eat cereal and read books. But he is insistent, and says I can write all day in the hotel while he attends basketball games.

I will see you in two weeks.

Patty Ann said...

So true! I totally love this one.

AS Amber said...

I'd like to bear my testimony that your family is absolutely, certifiably, CARAYZEE!!!

Except me.

Beka said...

So, Wise One. I am humbled to be in such company!

If I read correctly, you invited us to ask questions. I have one for you, and I think you possess the wisdom I need for this very job!

Remember the "Dream Killer" post?! Could you now help me explain to my 15 year old son why he cannot climb Mt. Everest for his senior project? Nevermind the obvious facts: funding, experience, mission (see funding), college (see funding), death, blah, blah, blah. None of that works. I've tried.

Hope you can help!! Thanks

tammy said...

I'm not sure, but I think you're trying to tell me something.

(BTW - I had this weird dream that you were at our ward council. How random is that? So stalkerish when blog strangers dream about you).

Melanie Jacobson said...

I'm usually the head nutter and I embrace it. The nutty part, anyway.

Caroline said...

Yes, and the people that say they aren't crazy are usually the craziest of them all.... true story.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

I learned this in the middle of a stake meeting last summer. See? I'm just as wise as you are (by your definition). :)

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

And DeNae you used a GRAPHIC on this post. A cute little digital graphic. You are totally wise squared now. (I wish this would let me make a little superscript 2 next to wise.)

Christy said...

I plan to start referencing to your posts in Sacrament meeting because I've just deemed it the 5th scripture. (you've bumped the Reader Digest down to 6th!)

DeNae said...

Christy, you would NOT believe how many times someone has told me that. It's an honor. It really is.

Garden of Egan said...

I believe there are no truer words spoken that those of Amber.

I think you should know dear DeNae, you can't cure stupid. It's terminal.
There will always be something for you to be wise about.

If you need any additional material you can come to my work. It's a plethora of writing material.

Rebecca said...

I distinctly remember the day I realized that my family wasn't as normal and boring as I thought. It was just that as a kid, I didn't see the nuttyness around me, it was normal to me. Same with the world, we are all our own brand of crazy and the sooner we embrace it and have fun with it, the sooner we will all be as wise as you!
And since I am so happy that spring break is over, can you address how to break out of the mommy guilt cycle, O wise one?