All you mommy bloggers with all your cute little stories about your cute little toddlers saying such cute little things, on behalf of the Mom (minus the 'my') bloggers whose kids are beyond potty training (and a big ol' fist bump to the entire Pantheon of Porcelain Gods for that), allow me to say, "Yes. We get it. They're adorable."
But it's not like they outgrow it. Cuz they don't. At all.
This is my son, David, and his cute new wife, Karyn.
(He keeps the ugly old one chained to the water heater in the basement. It's better that way. It really is.)
Last week, two of my kids sent me text messages with the tag line "FML." If you don't know what 'FML' stands for, let's just say Dora isn't going to be hollering it at Swiper any time soon.
Now, we've had numerous lively discussions over here about the use of b-level swears, but anyone who knows me will tell you I pretty much have the vocabulary of an elderly nun.
So when FML showed up in my text box from my two oldest children I sent the following message to all of them, including Karyn, who I'm sure was super-excited to be receiving counsel from her mother-in-law:
- "To all my darling children: This week alone two of you have ended a text with the initials FML. We all know what that means. There is no PG substitute for it. Please remove this tag from your messages and from your minds. This one? Never gonna be OK. LY, Mom."
There. That shoulda been the end of it. Right?
David is nearly 24. His reason for texting me in the first place was to tell me that one of his new Home Teaching comps used to date Karyn. I'm thinking that there was no reason for the naughty tag line, particularly since I'm pretty sure he's the one who got the girl. TOTAL Alpha in that relationship.
Anyway, here is what my History major kid texted back:
- "Mom, it stands for Foreign Minister of Lybia, who I accurately predicted would resign his post and defect to the United Kingdom. I'm certain he did that so the West could install him as President as soon as Gaddafi has been removed."
Wasn't that just so unbelievably precious? Bet your toddler hasn't said that in a while. Ha!
Kids Do the Sweetest Things
This is Vanessa. She doesn't have anyone chained to the water heater yet.
So, hey boys, give her a call!
This weekend, Vanessa drove from Rexburg to Salt Lake to spend time with her 80-year old grandparents. She does things like that. Her grandma taught her how to make bread (so now Ness can teach me)...
...and she built a 6 foot snowman with her grandpa...
No punchline. I just thought that was incredibly sweet.
Kids Do the Creepiest Things
While I was at BBC in San Diego, my family was out entertaining themselves on the beach. I received the following text from Cori:
- "Did I bury Jake and give him mermaid boobs?"
"Yes. Yes I did."
I have no idea what Jake is trying to do with his tongue in this picture. I only know he's grounded til his 37th birthday for doing it.
Grownups Do the Trickiest Things
On Saturday morning, Kazzy introduced me to the miracle that is Twitterfall. We were all in our homes, watching a broadcast of a worldwide conference for our church, and I decided to tune into the Tweets that were being, you know, tweeted about it.
Yeah, I'm uber-techie like that.
So I read all the Tweets as they Twitter-fell, certain that I was getting an entirely new understanding of what was being said by the conference speakers.
My daughter slept through the broadcast, however, and asked to watch it later.
(We had foresightfully programmed the DVR to record it, on accounta I hadn't exactly planned on being awake for that first session myself, and wouldn't have been if my husband hadn't made it all the way to the airport before noticing he'd forgotten his wallet, which meant I was zipping to McCarran International instead of finishing my traditional 12 hours per night of weekend sleep. Oh, and parents of small children who wake up every three hours? Neener, neener.)
So we watched the session again, and you would NOT believe what happened! Every one of those speakers had changed their talks on our DVR! I didn't remember them saying any of that stuff the first time around, which was weird because I was paying such close attention to all those Tweets.
I don't know what to think about this, so for now I'm filing it under 'Mysteries of the Universe' and getting on with my life.
Social Media Shout Outs: Part One
I did the FUNNEST thing on Friday. My pal - author, social media guru and all-around swell gal Lela Davidson interviewed me via Skype. My stupid WiFi was acting up, but I think we still managed to get some good stuff in there. I'll let you know when the Lela & DeNae show debuts.
Watch out, Ellen. This is gonna be big, big, BIG.
Social Media Shout Outs: Part Two
We Mormons got a Social Media Thumbs Up from one of our leaders, whose words on the subject I intend to cut out of vinyl letters and glue on a decorative plank which I will then hang over my computer. Because it turns out, I'm both obedient and crafty. Wait. That doesn't sound like me at all...
Social Media Shout Outs: Part Three
My view of Seattle, back in the day. Sigh.
Word on the street is there are still a few tickets left to the SITS Bloggy Boot Camp in Seattle. I'm going to be there, doing my thing. Come out and play, all you Nor'westers! It will be a huge homecoming for me, and I can't wait.
Get there early enough, and we can hit the beach first. Exactly how big did you want those mermaid boobs, anyway?