Thursday, March 10, 2011

Perfect, Even Without the Trapeze

Hello!  Didja miss me?  Well, I'm just here for a minute, and THAT'S only because I took a machete and hacked a path from the laundry room to the computer, with a side-hack to the fridge because we may keep house like savages but that doesn't mean we have to eat like them too.

The WEDDING!!  Oh, it was lovely!  Glorious!  Colder than a witch's Amana side-by-side.  Here are some pictures.

How completely adorable is this couple? 
They were standing outside the temple while we waited for our kids to come out, so we took a few pix of them. 
Ha!  JayKay!  This is my son David and my new daughter Karyn.
Had ya going there, though, huh?

And look!  They even have legs!!  We had to pay extra for those, but I think it was worth it.

Now, along with the fact that both the bride and the groom chose fabulous spouses, there was another reason the day went so well.  She is pictured below.

This beautiful woman - featured in one of maybe three pictures of me that I can actually stomach - is Annie Valentine.  She's a writer, a TV personality, and a closet event planner.  And let me tell you, planning events for closets is no small talent. 

While at lunch earlier this month (when I was at the Storytelling conference, remember?) I described my plans for our son and DIL's reception.  All I had to say was "plastic table cloths" and she vomited, right there on my Applebee's won tons.

Declaring a 'wedding intervention,' she quite literally took over the ENTIRE EVENT!!

Was I offended? you ask.  Which means you clearly have not met me.  I have the decorating and party planning skills of a turnip.

NO, I was not offended!  I immediately called the Pope and nominated Annie for sainthood! 

(You would not believe the online application for that gig.  "Please list three miracles you have performed in the last century that did not involve your face materializing in a jar of Nutella."  Like real saints have time for that!)

So Saint Annie and the Annie-ettes put together a luncheon and reception that Prince Will and what's-er-name could only dream of.

Which brings me to another point.  Annie rallied troops from blogland, and they worked their kiesters off, setting up, keeping food coming and going, breaking up fights, etc.  They were awesome.  Steph became the go-to gal because Annie was actually out of town on the big day.  (Excuse me, but who plans a Disney vacay when they know I've got a kid getting married?  Seriously, people, buy a calendar.)  Kristina was there, Kazzy (shown above; see? hardly any kiester at all), Jill, Allison, Becca, Sari, Alyssa, and Scooby.

There's Steph, checking out the table.  I don't know who that guy is in the background, but clearly he is working hard and deserves to have everybody look at him. 

Do it.  Look at him!  LOOK AT HIM!

Oh, how I love Becca Wilhite.  That's her, suspending tissue paper balls from the lights, while encouraged by two other wonderful helpers who I can't immediately identify because their backs are turned (duh!) and I'm wearing bifocals which means I'm basically blogging in Braille.

But Becca was there from start to finish.  All. Day. Long.  Served food.  Changed linens. Brought me a treat bag containing peanut M&Ms and Diet Coke. Told Kristina, "No, Kristina!  You may not stack the brownies in the shape of David Hasselfhoff in his award-winning role as 'The Black Swan'!"

She's taking the disappointment remarkably well, don't you think?

OK, how totally cool is this window frame?  It came from Annie's parents' home in Washington, and Annie did the vinyl lettering thing (which does not say "All Because Two People Fell in Love," so Kristina was saved from having to gag every time she walked past the guest book) and set it up on this beautiful easel.  See what I mean?  She's a genius.

I have to be honest; I don't know who these kids are.  But clearly, the one in the center is the ringleader, grinning menacingly while the others stand guard.  I'm pretty sure little Miss Pink Pants is reaching for her Glock.  The great thing about having kids there was they were perfect for putting under wobbly table legs.  Just slip 'em under the leg and toss 'em the occasional brownie, et voilà!  Stable tables.

This is the setup crew.  Becca, Allison (who is not a blogger; she's a friend from Vegas who, totally without my knowledge or permission, had moved to Elk Ridge, Utah and volunteered to help set up and came back later to help at the reception!), Stephanie, Alyssa, Jill, Sari, and Scooby, whose name I would give a zillion trillion dollars to have. 
Missing are Karen, Kristina, and of course Annie.

So, yeah, it was pretty much the best day since my wedding day, which was such a monumental event you could see it from the space shuttle.  (My harpist had hemorrhoids - how awesome is that??  She even gave us a discount for all the times she left the room to go scream into a pillow.)

Vanessa, David, Corinne, and Jacob.  I know.  They're gorgeous. 
I can't say enough about elective plastic surgery on infants, I really can't.
For one thing, it got rid of that genetic third buttock, which of course made diaper changing way easier.

And I think it's great that my son chose someone who fits so perfectly with our family, right down to, I am given to understand, the standard two buttocks.

I'm tellin' ya', folks:  It doesn't get much better than this.


gigi said...

Gorgeous couple! Awesome friends! Way cute family pictures!

seashmore said...

What great friends you have! Judging from your account, that has to be the best wedding/reception I've never been to. (And I've never been to a lot of wedding receptions.)

And which guy did you want us to look at again? I saw two working pretty hard.

Melanie Jacobson said...

Oh, lovely. I love the colors and I especially love all the gorgeous people in the photos. said...

First of all, I have this one particular closet that could stand some of that kind of help. Could you ask her if she does foyer coat closets?
Second of all, I have, like, ALWAYS wanted to be a bouncer. AND, I blog. As I understand it, these are the two requirements.
I'm hired for the next gig, right? Cause I mean it's like a burning passion for me and all...

Scooby and Jon said...

You and the fam look great! Congrats again, I'm still very sad that you were in town and I didn't even get to meet you.

Qait said...

Oho, the poor harpist! I of course enjoyed the rest of this post, but that really made me laugh!
I mean, feel bad for her.

I'm so happy that your daughter in law is cool enough for your family! :D

Becca said...

Did I really just read the words "the standard two buttocks"? I tink I'm going to google that phrase now and then just to get back to this post.

And it was a lovely day. Perfect. Fitting. You have a delightful family.

And I adore you.

The end.

Hel said...

Beautiful, Beautiful, Beautiful! Blogging just upped its cool status because of all those ladies. Is it lame to say I am REALLY happy for you (even though it was your son getting married?)

Patty Ann said...

Oh, it sounds like a wonderful event. I love the fact that she totally took over for you. Hopefully someone will do the same for me when these last three girls get married because I don't think I could handle another wedding!!! Life can be way too much fun!! Love the humor! You make me laugh.

Shantel said...

This is so great! You have a gorgeous family - that includes you and those sassy legs of yours - hot mamma!!!

Kristina P. said...

I really had the most important job of the evening. Did you find the phallic shape I hid in the brownie pyramids?

It was like "Where's Waldo", except with junk.

Garden of Egan said...

DeNae, really? A third buttock?
You are such a spaz.

I think it is awesome how blog friends came through for you. You really need to take that whining and whaling up a notch or two and I'll bet you'll get that third home in the Caribbean paid for in no time at all and completely without having to do that pole thing.

Absolutely darling couple.
It's a good thing they are sealed and all considering you're the mother-in-law and stuff.

Stinkin' cute decorations.
I think that guy you didn't know who it was could have been my crazy neighbor, but I'm not sure.

Stacy said...

Love that all your blogg-y friends came to the rescue.

And I love Becca too. My one claim to fame might be that I know where she lives! (Insert evil laugh here.)

Karen Peterson said...

I don't know why, but I'm always so amazed by how willing people are to help.

Beautiful! Congratulations again to the happy couple!

Jessica said...

You really do have such awesome friends. It looks like all was beautiful and better yet, done for you!

You must be awesome to elicit such help. Oh, I know you are, awesome runs in families.

wendy said...

I saw some of the wedding photos on Amber's facebook page. Loved the purple colors and her dress was sooo pretty.
Annie DOES deserve sainthood for putting that together...she is a doll, a genius, St. Wedding Planner.

glad everything went well, Kristina didn't slip any wedding presents into her car did she??

Lisa Loo said...

No, my friend--I don't suppose it does. Lucky you!

Beautiful event, beautiful people--is that why I wasn't invited??????!!!!!!!

And why has nobody ever told me about the standard 2 buttock rule??!! Sheesh--it explains soooo much....

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

I would just like to say, so that Annie does not hunt me down and hurt me, that those tissue balls in the pictures where still in DRAFT form. They looked much better by the time we were done and they were staggered and trimmed and all the other psychotic things she demanded. (Hi Annie!) Did somebody take pictures of the finished product so that she can be satisfied?

And of course, I also wanted to say that I'm glad the day was happy, and you are certainly loved.

Kazzy said...

Ok, Becca was a rock star. I actually felt like a drone. But it was fun to help.

Weddings are so cool. Seeing our kids get started in their real adult lives. Happy. With a partner.

And thanks for the keister comment. :)

Kazzy said...

And ps... Your daughters are drop dead gorgeous.

Cheeseboy said...

What a terrific day! I love that random children are just showing up to the party for no real reason.

Paper tablecloths freak her out? She should not be our ward activities chairperson. Wait, we don't have those anymore.

Congrats to the happy couple! And to you.

T said...

a perfect wedding and apparently the Place To Be in blogdania!!

I'm glad Annie saved you from the plastic tablecloths.

Marilenn @ StudioAlcantara.Com said...

Looks and sounds like it was a lovely wedding!

Stopping by from SITS!

AS Amber said...

How have I missed this post?? It truly was such a great day. I was stunned to see what a terrific job Annie and her minions did (I'm watching Megamind, can you tell?).

Dave and Karyn are just so darn cute! Your girls were stunning! (the MOST stunning of all the girls) Jake was so HOTT in his tux and you and Romeo were absolutely darling and beaming with well-deserved pride.

I loved this day! I love all your/our friends for helping you! That's whatcha get for being so terrific!


The Crash Test Dummy said...

Oh my goodness! What gorgeous pictures. It's amazing what blogland can do in the real world.

It makes me realize how OUT of IT I actually am. Sniff.