Of course, it's always sinful for me. More to the point, I'm always sinful on Halloween. Every year, I spend the weeks leading up to the big day trying to turn myself into a corpse. Halloween on Thursday? Totally sinful. Halloween on Tuesday? Wicked. Halloween on Columbus Day? Bring it, Chris. I'll scarf your Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria shaped Reese's Peanut Butter ... um, boats. Life sized, no less. I've seen the original ships' designs; they weren't that big. And then the next day, I'll vow not to eat anything bigger than a Life Saver.
Ha! Did you get that? The joke about how they keep life savers on boats and I said I'd only eat Life Savers?
Ugh. This is what I'm talking about. The gods of humor and good writing are punishing me for the overindulgences of the last 24 hours.
I think that while I'm repenting for all Butterfinger-related transgressions, I'll stick to playing the straight man.
Besides, I've got a bunch of cool things to tell you about, and none of them really lend themselves to punch lines.
OK, first, word on the street has it that there are still tickets to the Bloggy Boot Camp in St. George on November 13. When you click the link, one of the first faces you'll see is MINE. Don't let that worry you; it gets better. A couple of my favorite gals are also speaking, including Kristina Pulsipher, who I've got it on good authority will breastfeed a live baby during her presentation.
(Hmm? What's that? Kristina won't be doing the breastfeeding? Annie is coming, and she'll be feeding her own personal baby? In the audience? Dang. I wish someone had told me that before I distributed the media packages.)
Second, but certainly not, you know, second, my dear friend, the brilliant painter Jana Winters Parkin, just announced the publication and availability of her new book, "What Think Ye of Christmas".
web site. I've had the privilege of wandering through her studio. Jana is the real deal, folks. You want this book. Spend any time on her site and you'll want three of everything you see there. Spend a couple of hours gabbing over waffles with her, and you'll want to just move in and live with her forever and ever.
Third, but seriously, it's more like first redux redux, I went ahead and signed up for NaNoWriMo. Why, you ask? Because I'm a lunatic. I thought we had established that already. So if any of you are doing NaNo, find me over there - writing under the obscenely creative pseudonym 'DeNae' - and buddy up!
Fourth, and you know it's still a variation on 'first', the Casual Bloggers Conference 2011 has a new community. Possessing all the internet savvy of pudding skin, I'm still figuring out how cool 'communities' really are. But I can tell you one thing: If a virtual CBC community is anything like the real CBC community turned out to be, then sign me up, sister. That conference is in late September, and I hope you all will be able to make it. I think I'm speaking at that one, too, although as of this morning my bribe hadn't shown up in the organizers' offshore accounts. I'm just assuming the good folks at Wire Transfers R Us are slogging through a Halloween hangover, same as all the rest of us sinners.
So, let's recap:
- I ate too many Butterfingers, which killed my sense of humor and actually put me in such a delusional state I voluntarily took a fitness-type walk this evening. Film at 11.
- BBC has a few tickets left, and they've got your names on them.
- Kristina will not be breastfeeding anything this month.
- Jana Parkin's book is out and awesome and a must-have this holiday season.
- I'm doing NaNo because I won't be happy until my butt has become computer-chair shaped.
- CBC 2011 is tearing it up, and you don't want to miss anything.
- I've invented a new shape for Reese's Peanut Butter cups, which we won't be including in the Shmalloween Shmandy category, but will be perfect for the "I Saw Three Ships" collection of Shmistmas Shmocking Shmuffers.