Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Well, all righty then...

Holy smokes, just kidding, gang. 

I've deleted that last post completely.  (It's now un-deleted.  I decided it's my blog and I'll write whatever I want.) I don't mind folks disagreeing with me - if they can be civil about it - but when commenters start bashing each other the party's over. 

I'm clearly coming off too edgy and un-funny for blogland these days.  Fact is, I really have been struggling with some things that have nothing to do with my faith, but a fair bit to do with the culture in which I've spent my life.

Nevertheless, trying to joke about it in hopes of lightening the load is having the opposite effect.  I wish I were as certain about what constitutes 'good' and 'bad' as others seem to be.  Gnats and camels, motes and beams, you know?

I'm going to work on my novel for a while.  The Pulitzer committee can rest easy: my little murder mystery isn't going to rattle any cages at Columbia.  Deseret Book is safe, too. 

I'll be back in a few days, when I can write something that is both entertaining and uplifting.  There's a great conference coming up that I want to tell you about, and I'm actually going to do something I've never done before - host a giveaway of a beautiful book illustrated by one of my favorite artists and dear friend.

Meanwhile, I got some very good counsel from Braden Bell recently, and I'm going to take it.

By the way, in case anyone is interested, the word peculiar as used in 1 Peter 2:9 doesn't mean different or unique.  Nor does it mean smarter.  It certainly doesn't mean superior.  It doesn't even mean righteous. 

It means purchased or preserved.  It's all about the Atonement, about who - and whose - we really are.  Who we really answer to.  Whose opinion of the way we conduct ourselves is the only one that matters. 

I'm going to start there.  Again.  It'll be interesting to see where the road takes me this time.

See you in the funny papers.


Ness said...

It's unfortunate that your post had to be deleted. It was humorous, as it was clearly meant to be, and it was harmless.

I love what you had to say about the atonement, and whose we really are. Being a mormon isn't about how we dress, or what we say. It's about what we believe. It's about the beauty of the gospel. Anything else is just speculation and politics, topped off with a whole lot of naïveté and sanctimony.

Good luck with your novel! You know I'm rooting for you :)

Sharon said...

I loved your post. I really needed just that kind of laugh yesterday! I left before the start of the after-party, which sounds brutal to say the least. I hope you will (someday) write about the counsel you received if you think it would be helpful to others of us who play with the edges of life and faith and writing and personality, etc.

I just want you to know that I love your writing and would read anything you wrote. If you ever need a free proof-reader, even, I'd be honored!

Many blessings as you journey on!

Jenni said...

I am sad to hear that it elicited such a response. I, for one, have identified with you and felt a commraderie in what can be a tiresome culture. FOr years the culture frightened away my husband, but the Gospel truth won him over. He too, has enjoyed your humerous perspective often and is sad about the events of the last couple of days. Keep the faith, you have fans who certainly get you and are with you!

Hel said...

Oh DeNae, I've been so busy doing silly things like packing and moving, that I clean missed your deleted post and all it's juicy comments.

The good news is that it is still in my reader, so although I missed the opportunity to comment on it, I still had the pleasure of reading your "filthy language" post.

I think your real problem here is that you just haven't written ENOUGH of the type of post just deleted. No one can accuse you of shocking them then.

Your culture comments have just made me a little more nervous about moving.

Rebecca said...

Dangit...i miss a few days of checking the blogs and I missed the ruckus. I have always admired your way of looking at things and poking fun, it's too bad that things got so unfunny on your last post.
I am going to miss your posts, but you must do what your feel is important and save your sanity. Come let us know how things are going every once in awhile...I am always in need of a good laugh! Take care of yourself!

Braden said...

Thanks for the nice shout out. I'm so glad you feel like switching from Diet Coke to Diet Dr. Pepper will be what you need. It made all the difference for me. Wel, until the doctor made me give all of it up.

Seriously though, I have never considered the word peculiar that deeply. Thank you for sharing that, it gives me much to think about--and remember.

You know, the reason I love your blog is because you are funny--but also because you are a grown up. For you, being funny is not the end-all-be-all.

I have been swamped, so I don't even know what the post was to which you refer. I can't comment on it, but I do admire the fact that you are discreet and thoughtful.

Can't wait to read your novel!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Did I miss something contentious? Dangit!

See you in the funny papers, my friend.

And what did Braden tell you. Do tell? Do. Do. Do.

Mikki said...

Darn it! I missed all the contentious comments too.

Sorry things apparently got nasty. I won't even pretend to know how it went.
I am sorry you won't be posting for a bit. I love what you write. Hope you don't stay away for long.

Melanie said...

Not poo huh? Really? You're sure about this, I guess the explanation does look convincing. Thanks for all of your words, "appropriate" or not:)

Garden of Egan said...

It was a contentious post? Really?
I didn't feel that.
But then I didn't read the comments.
Kinda sorry I missed it.
I'm also sorry you deleted it.

If you make us all think........isn't that a good thing?

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

I didn't comment on yesterday's post, because I had to think a little first and my conclusion is that I'm a little bit of a prude, but that only influences my own choices, certainly not what anyone else can read, write or do. However "poo" is a regular in conversation at our house.

In response to yesterday's post and today's, I just wanted to say that this is the reason I really love the Church's new ad/media campaign because it shows that we are DIFFERENT people. You can be a music industry executive, a working mom, a Harley-Davidson biker and a recovering drug addict and ALL share the same faith. It's OKAY people! Many of the details that people focus on and judge so much are not really wrapped up in our covenants; and THEY are what cements our faith and *should* bind us together. If this seems "controversial," feel free to delete me. No offense taken. Love you, DeNae.

Molly Doe said...

Maybe that's why I couldn't comment yesterday.
Please don't stay away long, we'll miss you!

Becca said...

Yeah, okay - I must have missed it, too. But know what? You are awesome. Even if I think maybe you might not have been perfect, before you were peculiar. XOXO

One Cluttered Brain said...

oh dang! i missed it.
Ahh well.
Braden gives EXCELLENT advice! Take it girlfriend!
Love ya.
good luck on that novel...

M-Cat said...

I missed the hooley-roo.

Prob just as well.

I too would love to know what words of wisdom Braden gave you. He is one insightful dude!

M-Cat said...

And so now, I had to go back and read the post in my reader. Sure I missed the comments, but for the love of all that is holy, and the Yankees, HOW did that post spark nastiness? I was clearly in fun. Clearly to amuse, and I laughed until I snorted.

People need to stop taking themselves so seriously. Lighten up and as President Hinkley counseled "Stop being so self-righteous"

Slinking away now to just quietly lurk......

Mallory said...

I was going to truthfully answer your questionnaire from your deleted post (and probably be showing my own bit of prudery and "holier-than-thou-ness"...consequence of the culture, I guess) but I was a little discombobulated with the number of times "Mormon(s)" was said. It seems laughable, now, that I couldn't comment because I couldn't articulate the words I wanted to say, because of the word "Mormon". Strange, how that Spirit tries to keep me out of trouble.

Anyway, I appreciate your humor. I've always struggled to embrace the LDS culture (except I do act like a Molly Mormon, probably)...and I've been LDS my whole life!

JoeinVegas said...

Sorry about the idiots. Not my fault this time (I hope)

Shantel said...

I got to read your last post in my reader. My Daughter just got accepted into a Christain theatre company. She is the only Mormon. I am excited for her, I am am glad she is going to be exposed to other religions, and I think the experience will serve to strengthen her self-image and her testimony. We have had some negative feedback from ward members. Oh well, I guess me and the Lutheran minister next door will just be sipping our cokes in hell. I hope Satan has an ice machine. I dont like warm Coke.

AS Amber said...

Look at cute little Ness up there. Love that girl!

And I love you for what you did. (among a million other reasons) I, too, dusted off my reader and read your last post and didn't find it offensive. Probably because I know you and your humor. But the thing I'm referring to about why I love you is what you've always stated about your blog:

That you don't want ANYONE to leave here with a bad feeling. Feeling less happy than when they arrived at your Backordered Life.

Obviously, your post hit a nerve with some people and, true to your form, you removed it.

Integrity, sister. You have it in spades. Love you!

Beth Zimmerman said...

Obviously this business of assigning certain blogs to certain days in my reader (so I don't miss anybody) is going to have a downside. :)

I told another friend today that I think negativity (in blogdom) tends to go in cycles and we must be close the negativity peak! Mean spiritedness and cruel comments abound. And I'm ready for it to be done!

Hope you bounce back soon!

Kazzy said...

#1 Ness is a doll face. Also, sharp and beautiful.

#2 People are so literal sometimes in their reading/ interpretation of others' writing that they miss real humor.

#3 I went to your/our friend's book signing (a couple of weeks ago) and gave her a big hug.

#4 I miss ya.

Anna said...

Hmm, can't comment about what I missed. Just wanted to give you an encouraging blog hug. Sounds like you've had a tough time, and that's the pits.

Becca said...

Crap. I missed it, DeNae. But if it makes you feel better I stood in line in Washington DC for over two hours this past Saturday trying to catch the metro. SURROUNDED by people sobbing with joy over a certain rally. And I'm a democrat. And I spoke up. Pitchforks and torches, I tell you. So if whatever you wrote (which was SURELY hilarious) offended some, come on and join me over here in Purgatory. At least we'll be among friends. ;)

ExpressMom said...

Hi Denae,

Sorry I missed your post. (I don't know what a 'reader' is so I really missed it permanently.)

But, you have always made me smile and I hope negative comments don't quash your incredibly funny-side. I come to your blog for a mini-vacation in the monotony of every day life. And I love to visit your backorderd life. I can only imagine that the joy you have brought to others far outweighs any angst.
(and some people try really hard to find things to get upset about.)

Please keep blogging and don't tone anything down. You are fabulous!

HalfAsstic.com said...

What the.... Gees! I stay gone for a few days and everything gets all riled up!
I just can't turn my back on you kids for a second! ;-)

Kaylie said...

That's what I love about your blog. It's so real. I'm sorry you had to delete the post, 'cause I missed it. Next time can you delete the nasty comments instead? I hate missing out.