Saturday, May 1, 2010

For the Easily Entertained - Round Two!

Hey, Ho!  (I'm talkin' to YOU, Kristina!  hee hee)

Ever since I got home from my writers' conference, I've been bitten by the manuscript bug.  I even wrote something this morning I was so proud of, so absolutely convinced it was the kind of prose Hemingway could only dream about (particularly if the gazpacho had fermented) that I actually insisted my husband read it.  From my laptoplet.  While I sat there watching him.

Who does that??  Who says, "Here, check out this adorable paragraph I birthed after three grueling hours of labor, and tell me if you think it's wonderful."?  Me.  The idiot in the blue pajamas.  That's who.

His reaction to what I was pretty sure was the funniest damn string of sentences ever to spew from a keyboard?  "It will be really great as soon as you find a good editor."  Which of course is why he's sleeping in his car tonight.

At any rate, and despite my spouse's well-received counsel (because I am nothing if not teachable) I'm going to spend the weekend monkeying around with my story in a final attempt to discern whether it's worth salvaging.  So I thought this would be a good time for another game! 

(For those of you who are new here, this is where we played our first game.  Go be brilliant!)

Stacy took the three words I used as examples back in this post, and in her comment used them in a sentence.  Which was what I was saying I could NOT do, so yeah, she's a better writer than I am.  Sheesh.  Why don't you just MARRY my husband already, you two think you're so smart??

I mean ... ahem ... so anyway, I thought that would be a fun way to spend the next few days over here. 

The rules are pretty simple:

Commenter one, you take the three words I leave at the end of my post, and make a sentence out of them.  ONE SENTENCE!  Then you have to leave three new words at the end of your comment.

Commenter two, you may either use MY three words, or the three words offered by the previous commenter, to create your sentence.  Then you leave three new words.

And so on, and so forth.

Everybody ready?

OK, here are the first three words:

saltine, nuclear, Lopez



Mona said...

I hate it when someone tells me what I have to write about or which words I may use or not use. The product is sure to be as bland as a saltine cracker, without any nuclear punch whatsoever: just ask Miss Lopez who is far too sensational to ever relegate herself to an English assignment like this one. So, may I have my "F" now? I would like to frame it to remind myself that I am a FREE-lance writer. Why not come over and see me sometime?

Kristina P. said...

You do know that I expect to see my name in ever post of yours, from now on, right?

I would rather camp out in a nuclear bomb shelter, eating saltine crackers and tofu, than watch Mario Lopez on television.

candy, Hoff, water

Kimberly said...

Some say the Hoff is still eye candy, but I think their eyes are bedazzled by memories of his water speckled Bay Watch Days.

Lackadaisical, spandex, windmill.

Garden of Egan said...

I agree with Kristina. I want to see my name in lights on your blog....but alas, I think you don't know I exist.
It may be that your spandex is too tight.
Or it could be that your a bit lackadaisical about the friend you chose.
Or it could be that the windmill that powers the electricity that runs your laptop has stopped working.

I'm glad the hubs likes your writing.
Will you still remember Kristina when you're all rich and famous and everything?

autopsy, toenail, intubated

Wonder Woman said...

(Those were my deleted comments. Sorry.)

The coroner had never performed the autopsy on a man who had been intubated with a toenail. She was pretty sure that it was, in fact, the man's cause of death.

Teddy bears, impale, pelvic.

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

Mario Lopez just wishes he was as white as a Jack Bauer saltine cracker thanks to all the nuclear war talk going on.

But it would be as tough as trying to impale his pelvic muscles with a bunch of chewable gummy bears!

blink, fondue, heel

InkMom said...

GDog if you stick your heel in that fondue one more time so help me I will send you to your room faster that you can blink twice.

alabaster, hefty, grout

val of the south said...

If you do not get your alabaster hands off my hefty bag right now, then you can grout the bathroom!

pigtail, bark, quintessential

Homer and Queen said...

Seriously Val? You give me a word like quintessential and how I have to bark orders at the pigtailed daughter of mine to bring me a dictionary so I can sue the the word properly!!!

reality, boogers, spiritual

Homer and Queen said...

Make sure I use the word properly. I can't type either...

Terresa said...

It's Saturday morning and my brain is mush. Although I am writing my manuscript like mad. LDStorymakers was Inspirational, wasn't it?? And it was great to finally meet you en persona, even if we had to travel to Provo for it! The irony!

JoLynne Lyon said...

I'm too shy to compete yet, but let me just say I can relate to the first few paragraphs of this post. A similar moment inspired me to join a writing group, which was a great experience.

InkMom said...

The reality is that boogers, like all other natural objects, were also created spiritually before manifesting in the physical world.

oregano, apex, flatulence

I'm a sucker for these games, DeNae.

Kazzy said...

Around these parts, with all of the men in this house, we deal with a lot of , um, flatulence. And nothing topped the time I made some marinara with a little too much oregano. Yup, that was the day we reached the apex of the richter scale.

scullery, knobs, frog

Stacy said...

DeNae, send your husband on over. Just let him know upfront that I have three littles, am pregnant with a fourth, and both me and one of the littles play the violin. That ought to have him complimenting your manuscript up one side and down the other.

That being said...

"I am not a scullery maid," she huffed as she turned up the knob to the stereo and started to dance. "Now all I need is a frog to kiss to turn into my handsome prince."

usury, sushi, dinosaur

Cheeseboy said...

It was only a matter of time before that hippo of a dinosaur, Bob ate all the extra sushi. It was clear that he is upset at overblown usury his X wife has put on his pallet.

(Usury? Really?)

tinfoil, hopscotch, retainer

NG said...

I love this game! Here's mine:

"I thought he looked a little touched," she said.

"What was your first clue? The tinfoil hat, the fact that he was a grown man playing hopscotch, or the string of retainers he wore around his waist as a belt?"

monkeywrench, gypsy, notwithstanding

DeNae said...

I have the best readers in the WORLD!! OK, I'll do NG's words:

"The gypsy knew there was no repairing that cart wheel, her collection of assorted monkeywrenches and other tools nothwithstanding."

centennial, toothpaste, ovary

Anna said...

Instead of attending the Centennial Celebration, I cleaned toothpaste from ovary the sink. (Hey I used it, not correctly, but it's USED)

flower, gasoline, pirouette

tammy said...

I was too busy doing pirouettes in the flower garden to worry about the gasoline spewing everywhere.

pancake, wheelbarrow, captain

tammy said...

(oh and subscribe so I can read all the follow-ups)

Happy Mom said...

"Captain, where do you want the pancakes?" Cordelia grunted, as she lost control of the wheelbarrow.

helter-skelter, restrained, kerosene

(This game makes me happy! I usually never read all of the comments, but I didn't miss a one this time!)

Smith Family said...

OK, yeah, so maybe they should have restrained me for running helter-skelter with a gallon of kerosene and a lighter in the middle of the parade, but someone has to take care of the horses' doo-doo, and it's easier than a shovel!

spam, flourescent, cave

Brooke said...

"Yes, dear," her husband groveled, "I know I'm not supposed to click on any link that comes in my Spam box, but I caved when I saw the email for flourescent boxers!"

gum balls, cucumber, doll

(Sorry DeNae, I couldn't resist.) :-) said...

Hi, my name is Krissa LOPEZ and, while eating a SALTINE cracker the other day and watching the NUCLEAR trade talks on TV, I gave the DOLL a facial with CUCUMBER slices on her eyes which had to be replaced with GUMBALLS. Soooo sad. ;-) said...

Oh, yeah... er,
hippo, subcontractor and.... iris.

David H said...

The mayor was arrested when he was found to have been paying a 'subcontractor's fee' to infamous mob boss Tony 'the hippo' Aldente. It was later revealed that he also owed the Iris more than $100K in back-taxes.
...get it?

Doorknob, jacket, Romulan

Annette Lyon said...

Picard reached for the doorknob but stopped when the door opened and #2 came out of the Captain's own quarters wearing a ridiculous jacket. "Take that thing off," Picard snapped. "That was a gift from the Romulans."

paramedic, whipped cream, sunset

Lora said...

The paramedic threw up his arms in frustration and opted to ride off into the sunset after finding that his colleagues has once again replaced the contents of his fire extinguisher with whipped cream. The cherry on top was the last straw.

ducks, candle, crepe paper

Garden of Egan said...

InkMom said that boogers were created spiritually before being physically manifested??? Seriously?

I think I'm gonna gag. I want a scriptural reference.

I've never read all of DeNae's comments before but this is dang phunny!

OK, I'm playing a second time cuz I was laughing with some of the comments....ovary? Wow, you guys are amazing.

I can't hold a CANDLE to the talent that is on this blog.
There were some DUCKS that were strangled in the river by CREPE PAPER. It was sad really.

tumor, mucous, emesis

(can you tell I did a 12 hour shift in the ER today?)

My VW is sefoo
You know eatin' sefoo in the hood.

NG said...

Popping back in to say I think when all is said and done here in the comments, DeNae should write a story using all the words everyone has provided as the new post.

Do I have to do a new sentence now?

Between the tumor and the mucous, Garden of Egan probably needed an emesis bowl by the end of her shift.

will-o'-the-wisp, hangnail, neon

wendy said...

YIKES ==I don't know what to do here.
I found a hangnail under the neon moon while in the hot tub and said to hubby "Is that a will-0-the-wisp, or ar you just happy to see me.

confusion, mud and oh hell it's snowing again.

DeNae said...

Wendy you kill me! I'll do yours: "In all the confusion, I slipped in the mud, tossing the box of styrofoam beads over the wall and leading Old Man Weatherby to holler, 'Oh hell, it's snowing again!'"

pantomime, squid, banana

JBSquared said...

When John saw the giant squid lurking under the water, he began squirming as if he were doing a pantomime of a monkey who'd just eaten a bad banana.

Wow, I stink at this. :)

lucky, pedantic, embellishment

JBSquared said...

(PS - I love that story idea, NG)

David H said...

I shot bananas from my nose laughing at the site of my mother doing a pantomime impression of a squid.

Ghost, leisurely, pitchfork

David H said...

Hey! I was working on that one! ;)

Garden of Egan said...

While I was leisurely digging up the manure from the barn with my pitchfork I found that I had dug up a smelly ghost.
He came out of the ground saying.........

(not only does the next person have to finish the sentence, they need to use the words:

balance, babycakes, DeNae

Motherboard said...

It is an extraordinary feat for DeNae as she balance(s) her love affair with Mario Lopez--or as she lovingly calls him Baby Cakes-- and KristinaP.

Tree Lobotomist Whore

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

The lobotomist stood at the bottom of the tree shouting up to the shivering whore in the branches, "I promise you'll feel like a new woman when I'm done with you."

I'm thinking I should have done this anonymously.

wheelbarrow, collage, hysteria

DeNae said...

Hey, it looks like no one did JB Squared's words, so I'll take a crack at it:

"Considering how pedantic I am, my classes are lucky I have a flair for embellishment."

OK, next commenter do Steph's words:

wheelbarrow, collage, hysteria

Beka said...

There was mass hysteria when I had to use a wheelbarrow to haul all of the collages of girls camp into the foyer on Sunday.

waterfall, blueberry, deadbolt

Motherboard said...

I was lounging by a beautiful waterfall with my lover, eating a lovely dessert when a crazed mountain man came crashing through the woods.

He was being chased by a woman welding a rolling pin and he was screaming: "I swear! I put the deadbolt on the pantry! I don't know where that blueberry pie could have gone!"

Batman Opera Volkswagen

AS Amber said...

I don't care if Mario Sands Lopez is starring as Batman; I'd rather poop a Volkswagon than sit through the opera.

Once, upon, a

M-Cat said...

Once upon a time, I thought I was witty enough to play these types of games. Then I got old.

Crocodile Rheumatology Trickle

Braden said...

The crocodile swam through the shallow water. It was desparately, painful slow. Arthritic tails are nothing to snicker at when they compose most of one's skeletal and locomoter systems. Even worse when it's the dry season and the river has flowed to a trickle.

"Curses," he thought. "I'd rather be Harry Reid at a Mormon Fireside than endure this any longer." He continued, grunting painfully from the screaming rheumatioid monster pounding each joint of each of the bones in the tail.

Finally, he managed to drag himself to the floating veterinary station. "Please, get me to rheumatology, stat," he said.

Ventriloquist shalom deluge

The Crash Test Dummy said...

When I saw your title I thought either the witch is dead or Avon is calling.

Okay, so I just read your comments here and I was like what the freakin' what? I thought I was commenting on the Ding Dong Avon lady post. Why is everyone NOT talking about Avon?

I guess I scrolled down to far. hee hee But not that I've read the post I have to say high five to your hub. Finally someone who can find a flaw in your writing. And you just happened to marry him. How lucky are YOU!

I would have to go after Braden. I've often thought he would make a great ventriloquist with the way he throws his voice around blogland--and it's a cheerful voice at that. Even when his state is being deluged with rain, he always greets me with Shalom Ya'll. (southerners!!)

Jazz, Hands, Rock

Oh, am I too late to the partay?

charrette said...

If it's true the hands that rock the cradle are the hands that rule the world, thank heaven those hands of hers caressed the ivories with such fluid, expressive jazz.

Lara said...

Jazz hands rock!