Sunday, January 24, 2010

Gone a-Wailin'

"Crying children are like good intentions. Both should be carried out."


I'm not much of a social activist, really. Oh, once in a while I'll get my briefs in a bunch over Albertson's displaying Cosmopolitan's Guide to Publishing a Pornographic Magazine next to Dora the Explorer's Abbreviated Childhood. But by and large, I say "Live and let live, preferably someplace far away from me on accounta I'm not really a people person."

But I'm afraid I am going to have to speak out on a situation which is, frankly, getting out of control. And if I don't address it here and now, you can bet Kristina will, and she'll use pictures of Mario Lopez and Amy Winehouse to illustrate her point. Or maybe the Catorce-Mom, as seen on this week's People (Who Should Have Been Tossed in the River When Their Parents Had the Chance) Magazine.

I became aware of this growing problem several months ago, in church. That's where I notice a lot of problems; I'm pretty sure this is because I'm terribly righteous and the revelation just rains down on me like a cow on a rock. I sit there in Sacrament Meeting, being pious and stuff, and before I know it -- BAM! Something that someone else really needs to fix is made manifest in 3-D and, in this case, Surround Sound.

But today, well, let's just say Isaiah and Ezekiel and Moses were amateurs compared to the total prophetic whatchamacallit stuff that was happening deep in my soul and working its way through my ear canal right to my brain stem.

So now, like Samuel of old except I took a bath this morning, I stand with my staff in one hand and my Ebeneezer in the other because that's not really a naughty reference although I giggle every time I say it -- and I declare...

"People of ... um ... Northwest Las Vegas and most of Utah, near as I can tell! Hark! We must once and for all CEASE the wicked and abominable acts of BEATING YOUR CHILDREN IN CHURCH!"

That's right. I have HAD it with the carnage that is obviously taking place behind me week after week after bloodletting week. It simply must stop.

My family sits on the second row in the chapel. Every Sunday. We're like those Victorian patrons, who purchased a pew in the church so that no one but their descendants could sit in it for all of eternity. Hey, I pay my ten percent. I'll sit where I darn well want to. And so will my descendants.

We do this so that a) our kids won't be distracted by the Flying Wallendas who occupy the fourth row and, b) young parents can take comfort in the knowledge that it is still necessary to knock your 19-year old daughters' heads together like a couple of coconuts because they can't stop arguing about a sweater one of them owned and the other one lost seven months ago.



However, due to our position in the front of the room, we aren't able to actually see what is happening on rows three through the-mess-in-the-cultural-hall.

But if the soundtrack is any indication, it's a free-for-all back there. And the way those kids are screeching, I have to assume the parents are disciplining them with nun chucks and battering rams.

First, there are The Fakers. These are kids who couldn't produce a tear if you shoved an onion under each eyelid and told them Santa was dead. They just 'want' whatever it is someone else has at the moment, and they do this sort of cough / whine combination that is so devoid of imagination and effort the laziness alone is worthy of a D-. Everyone around The Faker is fantasizing about backhanding the kid just to, as the saying goes, give him something to cry about. Everyone, that is, except his parents. They're handling things by repeating, "       ," a disciplinary tool which says a lot about the kid's lack of emotional ambition.

Then there are the Air Raid Sirens. These kids start small, but they've got staying power and lungs like the Man from Atlantis. On a single breath, they begin their assault down low on the pitch spectrum, and then initiate a steady, terrifying climb that works from whimper to whine to wail to full-blown keen complete with banshee cape and portents of death and despair.

The parents have no excuse for keeping the kid in the room while he works his way to the end of his performance. It can take up to ten minutes for heaven's sake. Yet these folks seem to think that this time a little "shh, shh" is going to stop the reign of terror. It won't, people. And replacing the chapel windows every week is getting expensive.

Finally, there are the Zero-to-Sixties. One minute, the child is happily shredding the hymnal and reducing a three-pound box of Cheerios to compost, and the next, he's shrieking like crocodiles just leaped up from under the pew and chewed off both his legs. No warning, no indication of the fury that is about to be unleashed, it's like sharing a bench with a bolt of lightning. But rather than scoop the little maniac up and rush him out of the building before he strikes again, the parents engage in a frantic dialogue which, of course, has to be louder than the kid, and is mostly variations on a theme of "What's wrong with him? Is he hurt? Did you take away his Cosmopolitan?"


We Mormons aren't much for "Testify, Brothers" or "A-mens!" But there are plenty of weeks when we are just one tantrum-throwing toddler away from a rousing chorus of "Shut the Hallelujah Up," found on page 327 of whatever hymnals haven't been destroyed by Little Mr. Zero-to-Sixty.

And yet, I know it's unfair to blame the children. Clearly, they would be perfect angels during church if their parents weren't abusing them with all of that nurturing and patience, not to mention the entire story of Noah's Ark in flannel board pieces plastered the full length of the bench in front of them, like maybe Brother and Sister daVinci were sitting there and young Leonardo just couldn't hold still without creating a mural.

'But what to do?' young parents ask. Well, I admit, that's a real stumper. Yes, indeed. What to do, what to do ...

You know, I'll have to get back to you on that one. It's been several hours since church ended, and as my hearing returned to normal the revelation on how you can all be better people and thereby improve my life dried up for the week.

However, later tonight, I'll consult my Ebeneezer. Maybe he'll have a suggestion or two.

56 comments:

wendy said...

FIRST --what I'm freaking first.
that is probably cause everyone else is observing the Sabbath and NOT blogging
but being the gentile that I am (with a good heart) I'll be first. cool
I loved you statement "live and let live" as long as they are far away from me as I'm not a people person. funny funny
Kids in church
I like the old fashioned "cry rooms" I wish we still had them. I'd probably even visit them myself during some really boring talk
Have we become a little to "lax" about kids being quite in church.??
don't know the answers.
I am still waiting for the revelation that a 3 hour block is too long-----------see, gentile

The Wiser Side said...

So oh wise one...help a sista out...what is an ebeneazer? I always think of that during "come thou fount"

earlfam said...

Maybe it's the time change, or maybe there's something in the water in the North West Las Vegas region, but we also sit on row two and our sacrament meeting was CRAZY today. I spend the whole thing planning a short RS lesson (complete with chalk board illustration) wherein the sisters in the ward could be encouraged to step up the efforts at KEEPING THOSE KIDS QUIET!!! (All without being offensive or condescending or sounding like an old lady who's forgotten what it's like or any of those things-it was pure genius!)

Dustin and Melanie said...

NIce, we have the whining faker, we usually appease him with fishy crackers and promises of Nursery, oh wait now it's Sunbeams, which he hates.

New strategy suggestions would be fantastic:)

Kristina P. said...

What do you think is the appropriate tactic to take for the parents who proceed to read "Everyone Poops" to their children, loudly, like a night time story, when seated in the pew directly behind me? The judging was already well in force.

(Insert picture of Mario Lopez, stumbling out of a bar with Amy Winehouse, here.)

brudcrew said...

I think we have one of each and two lightning bolts! Things are slightly improving or I just don't care anymore, not sure which. My theory is, that when parents do take them out the kids just run and play in the halls. There for it is a good thing to scream and get out. We make them sit on a chair with nothing to do until coloring the program with a #2 pencil in the chapel sounds like more fun than sitting on a chair watching the other crazies run around.

L.T. Elliot said...

My kids were the sirens and at the first peep, I made my getaway. Oh, not for any of you folks. See, I was the one pinching them to start said siren so I could eat my cheerios in peace in the mother's room. ;)

veronica said...

I have 5 kids and a husband who is on the High Council (a.k.a AWOL).
So yes, I have nun chuck skillz!

Stacy said...

Will you still be my friend if I tell you that I have a 0-60 lightning bolt who not only did all the things you described today, but also made at least 2 desparate attempts to escape, made one very loud belch that had two rows in either direction giggling hysterically, and shrieked half the congregation deaf when 8 year old sister tried to take away the iphone?

You know, they're cute, but I think we should just all agree that no one from the age of say 9 months until 12 years or so really belongs in sacrament meeting without serious sedation.

One of my crowning moments of motherhood came when we were singing "Home Can Be a Heaven on Earth" while my 8 and 6 year olds were doing their impression on jello wrestlers and showing the entire congregation their pink flowered panties.

And today's wv? morti. As in mortified. As in, I better never show up in DeNae's ward or I will be completely mortified!

The Garden of Egan said...

Wow, I didn't realize you were coming to my ward today!!!! If I'd have known you were coming I would have saved my sacred seat for you.

Oh, you didn't come to my ward...??? Oh, you just decribed my ward.

What I want to know is when are you going to write an epistle of all the young mothers or newly weds that have all the advice on childrearing and talk about it in Relief Society every Sunday. Yup those young mothers got it all figured out and I for one, would like to know.

I'm sure that one would be rich.

I can get you some industrial earplugs for next week if you would like. They also come in handy for that soprano that shouldn't be.

Hel said...

We sit right up on the front row. Just so LQ can stand up and see every single person in the congregation. At every possible quiet moment she will announce to everyone that "Shi Shi" (my sister) is here. Or that her friend Livy is sitting behind us. I'd say she manages to go through half the congregation's names each week.

Of course to distract her and keep her quiet my husband sticks things up his nose so she can shriek with laughter. OR they do their Star Wars sticker book together.

That Gal Kiki said...

I love your attitude, and the way you write. :)

That Girl said...

I've got one Siren and two Zero-to-Sixtiers. And they are well acquainted with room 106 and the hard chair I set in the middle of it.

... And yet we pass dozens of children playing happily in the lobby with a plethora of toys and sugary cereals.

Dude, no wonder they scream to get out of sacrament!

Jami said...

I forgive you. Because you are brilliant and hilarious. And a daughter of God.

I swear I'm one dirty look away from inactivity until these little hoodlums of mine are all safely in juvie.

MommyJ said...

I have finally approached the time when three of my four are old enough to sit in sacrament meeting without disturbing anyone. It's so blessedly wonderful... the littlest? He does okay most of the time... mostly because I can give him my undivided attention knowing that Dad is sitting on the stand perfectly capable of giving one, two, and three the evil eye if they start to act up. We sit on the front row for that very reason... but then, we only have six rows in our chapel, cause we're a teeny tiny branch. the front row is actually closest to the get away door.

Oh, and that girl? I totally get your comment.. I always wonder why parents make going OUT of sacrament more fun than staying in. What does that teach?!

Lara said...

Raising my Ebeneezer and answering your call for help....(not really, but I'll tell you just what we do).

After bringing books and Cheerios and puzzles and fruit snacks and juice to church for years like any self-respecting LDS parent I realized that all that stuff was not making my children quiet in Sacrament meeting and it definitely was not helping them to be reverent.

We are second-or-third row pew sitters ourselves, and one day I just decided we would not bring any distractions to church. Guess whose kids were actually quiet in Sacrament meeting that day? Sure, they were bored out of their skulls, but that is what church is for.

Now I just have to worry about the well-meaning mom behind me who feels sorry for my children not having anything to play with and gives them puzzles and barbies and what-have-you, while her children are meanwhile making so much noise that I can't hear the speaker anyway.

My kids have graduated to bringing a pen and paper in their scripture cases now, and they know that at the first sign of argument or irreverence those items will be confiscated faster than they can do the 0-60 scream, and then they'll be in a full body lock in the foyer.

Works for us.

Becca said...

"A cow on a rock" - can I read your novel?

Becca said...

To quote Miss Claree from Steel Magnolia "Well, done... spoken like a true smart a$$..."

(Oh look. I just offended 5 people.)

But I think you forgot two sets of kids. The kind that are quiet, but only because they are slamming their feet as hard as they can against the pew in front of them. (Those would be mine, thanks) and the teenagers and their texting. Did you children not LISTEN to Elder Oaks last fall?? Must you bring a smite down on ALL our heads?? ;)

Have a great one, sunshine!

Migillicutty said...

I'm laughing to hard to comment.... oh that was FUNNY... I luves your blog, DeNae.

Momza said...

Hi.Lar.Ee.Ous! Were you in my ward yesterday? Cuz I am pretty sure you must've been there. We had a kid who sounded like a cat in a blender! He/She screamed for so long and so loud, the congregation laughed...it was THAT wild!
Maybe it's cuz I'm old...or Maybe it's cuz a Baptist convert...but when my kids even LOOKED like they were about lose it, I was UP and OUT of the chapel. I think it used to be called "Having respect for others' worship"--altho I am pretty sure that too, has gone the way of the dinosaurs and disco balls.

wonder woman said...

I've got a 0 to 60. And honestly, he's been the best behaved of his whole life these last few months that I've played the organ. I don't know if it's because he's getting older, or if it's because dad's a better disciplinarian, but whatever it is, it's workin'.

Oh, and I think your funny. I love that you get sarcastic on your blog but your comments elsewhere are full of love and wisdom. Seriously. You rock.

Melanie J said...

If anything, Grant is a 0 to 60 which is aggravating because there's no grace period to get him out of the chapel. In general though, he's not a crier. And yet he makes LOTS of noise. Not shrieking. Just doing this informative narration of everything he's doing. He's two, so he doesn't understand "be quiet" for more than twenty seconds at a time so sacrament meeting right now feels very close to an exercise in futility. But we plug along, throwing toy after toy at him and removing him during his infrequent screeching episodes. And to think, we're about to start the whole stupid cycle all over again.

Melanie J said...

Um, my comment was so nice I said it twice.

And also, I think LT is a genius.

DeNae said...

I deleted your 2nd comment, Mel. That happens to me all the time! My computer freezes just as I hit "send", so I don't know if it got through or not. Then it gets through, like, 16 times, so people get lots of chances to bask in my wisdom...

Kimberly said...

My kids play (mostly) quietly all through sacrament. It's bloody annoying. I mean, we live in a branch with only 40 members so I have to hear the same people speak over and over and OVER. It gets old. Fast.

Just once I'd like one of my little angels to start a shriek fest so I could go hang out in the primary room and read a book or something.

The brats.

DeNae said...

By the way, peeps, the "Eben-ezer" was a 'stone of help' set up as a token of gratitude because, after having had their keisters whooped twice, the Lord delivered the Israelite army. Samuel knew he needed to get the Israelites' attention at moments like that because it rarely lasted very long. So he put up this rock and said, "Remember, this day you were NOT made road paste by the Philistines like all those other times. And it wasn't because all of a sudden you became this awesome fighting machine."

(See 1 Samuel for all the kicks and giggles.)

Jessica said...

One of my boys (at just 2) would stand on the bench and chastise all the noisy kids by him. Folding his arms as an example. Staring them down. Giving the evil eye and then if needed the finger to the lips "shhh." Funny reminder to the parents. I half-heartedly tried to get him to stop, though it needed to be done.

I'm big on the hall, fold your arms, don't even look like moving trick. Works like a charm to stop any of my problems.

Love the way you state a huge peeve of mine!!

Anna said...

Like Lara, I've found minimal distraction are best. After trying a variety of toys to hush the 3 year old (Cars- vrooming noises, animals- loud barnyard, etc) We don't bring him anything and it's much better. The oldest gets a crayon and a piece of paper, the baby gets bread stuffed in his mouth if he opens it too big. 11 o'clock church does that to ya. And I think that I don't have any in your list. I hope, lol.

Bug said...

I'm playing single mom every Sunday with my three little boys while my hubby is at work. So a couple of weeks ago I had to get "creative" with a punishment during the Sacrament. I couldn't leave the other two alone while I took the oldest out for his punishment, for purposfully slurpping the Sacrament water and then practically choking to death in the process. We were sitting at a side pugh and I had him put his nose on the wall right there in the Chapel, and fold his arms "time-out" style. All was said in hushed tones (except of course for the slurpping) but, He was embarassed, but so was I... and now he won't be messing around with the water anymore. MUWAHAHAHA.

myimaginaryblog said...

I have SO much empathy for the parents of the noisy kids because, you name that scenario, I've been there:

The kids who does on short very loud squawk that's over by the time you could get them out. Do you take them out anyway, now that they're being quiet?

The kid who inches away while you're not looking and then makes a break for it: up the aisle and across the front of the chapel, laughing and waving. You have to chase her, but it's tempting to ignore her since a parent running across the front of the chapel hunched over and then failing to catch her is even more distracting than the child on her own.

The kid how falls and hits his head hard on the pew in front of him and is screaming so loud that no one can hear at least three sentences of the speaker's talk for the time it takes you to get him out of the chapel and make sure his skull isn't broken.

Those are just a few scenarios that come to mind. Sometimes you can do everything you know to do and still lose the battle. Still, I don't, however, have patience with parents who face these kinds of challenges with passivity.

We've decided that limiting playthings works best--like someone else said above, our kids get a pencil and paper (no pens since I got tired of washing ink out of church clothes) and that gets taken away if they make too much noise. (It took me about four Sundays of paper-confiscation to convince my son that there's no such thing as discreet, surreptitious paper-tearing in church.) My husband has a few games he plays with the littlest ones (one is to let them roll up his tie and tuck it under his chin; then he lifts his chin and it unfurls.) And I also do the thing where I carry them to an empty room and sit in a chair with them on my lap--and I have the bruises on my shins to prove it.

And you know what? In the last few weeks, we've been able to sit through the whole Sacrament Meeting and hear it all. My kids are still little, but the hard work and consistency is paying off. (Or my kids have just hit an easy stage and next month I'll be wishing I'd knocked on wood a little harder.)

myimaginaryblog said...

Oh my that was a lot of typos. Oh well.

East of Eden said...

I remember growing up one look from our Dad was enough to inspire reverence....oh and the threat of a spank if Dad thought it necessary, which happened on occasion. I think much of the goings on in a sac mtg are dicatated by the parent repsonse more than the child's actions. How can you tell the parents to wise up?

And Wendy, when ever you find out that 2 hour church is too long, please let me know....I'm with you on that one.

Amber Lynae said...

I loved your post and I really loved LT's comment. I take my little one out when she gets loud but most of the time she is fine. it always seems to be in the last 10 minute stretch that she just needs to get out of there.

Michele said...

It's too bad you couldn't do this as a read-aloud for fast and testimony meeting. "I know this Church is true, but, oh, by the way...." :-)

The B's said...

Great post!!!!
I would make my kids "practice" being reverent at home when they were between 4-? if needed. And trust me, after 3 hours of church NO ONE wanted to sit on the hard piano bench and practice for another half hour before they got food!!!
Worst experience...teens and young adults together after a long absense....with the Stake Presidency there...writing and drawing comics of each other on 2nd row and laughing.out.loud!!!!

Gloria (The Mamafamilias) said...

You are SO my hero.

And Becca, you are my hero too. Anyone that quotes Steel Magnolias becomes my hero (I took a Facebook "test" and guess what - I'm Ouiser. Ha. I knew it).

Plus, you mentioned the TEXTING thing. That really, really, really gets on my smallest, all the way up to my largest NERVE!!

Oh, the epistle I could write. Mmm

M-Cat said...

I struggled with the boys by myself for a lot of years. I enlisted the help of others and farmed them out sometimes. Best thing ever.

Now with Sissy, it's a whole new ball game. The fact that I get to take her to church is enough for me. We keep her quiet as much as possible, but quite frankly, if she is annoying someone else. Screw them. She is there and that's what I care about.

Let the offended/hating comments begin

Uptown Girl said...

#1- DeNae, how is it possible that I'm not an official follower of your blog? I mean, I haven't seen your posts in forever and that is ridic (esp surprising if you consider some of the random blogs i do follow).

#2- that was the best post ever

#3- luckily, here in nyc, nobody has children and therefore church is so quiet that no one disturbs my nap/worship (except for that choir leader that sounds like a dying cat). i suggest you move to nyc so that you can attend church in peace and also so I can meet you.

now on to becoming a real true follower.

Sarah said...

AMEN!!!! Nothing says good parenting like dragging your child out those double doors whilst they scream "Mommy don't hit me!" at the top of their lungs.

Sher said...

Wait. Are you telling young mothers to stop beating their kids in church, or start?
Cuz there ain't nothin' more effective, then hauling the screamin' demon out to an empty classroom or a bathroom stall and giving him a little (or not so little) whack on the behind.
Except maybe the neck pinch. It works wonders with my kids. Quiet, but effective. Shuts 'em right up.

p.s. Please don't call DCFS

Annette Lyon said...

I've been out of blogland for a bit, so it was with joy I read this--I SO needed the laugh!

There's a family with 5 kids in our ward that I just cannot sit near anymore because I swear the mother is nearly physically abusive IN CHURCH--when she's not snapping in their face (as if THAT'S quiet), she's yelling at them (again, thanks for keeping down the noise, lady), she's literally slapping their faces and mouths to shut them up.

Worst part? She wants more kids. It looks like she HATES being a mom, from what I can she. She went several years w/out being able to get pregnant, and I was rather glad for any future child's sake--but now she's pregnant. Oy, veigh.

Corrie Howe said...

The thing that makes this blog post so funny is how much truth is in it. We used to sit in the last row of church when my kids were young so I could swoop them up and get out fast. Now I sit in the third row because I get distracted by all the other kids in front of me. Of course, my kids are probably a distraction to others.

tammy said...

It used to really drive me crazy, then a bishop told our ward that he'd much rather hear the sound of crying children, than to look at a half empty congregation. So I'm kind of with M-Cat on this one, unless the behavior is really really bad. The bishop we have now told the men it's their job to take the kids out during Sacrament Meeting. Love that man.

AS Amber said...

Did you delete my comment? Waaah :(

DeNae said...

I didn't delete your comment, Amber! Are you sure you aren't referring to the wrestling cape post? Or are you commenting in your sleep again? You really need to stop doing that.

InkMom said...

Whoa! I can't believe I missed all the hoopla!

When I read this the first time, I was nursing and totally composed a comment in my head to post later on when I had two hands available. And then I forgot. I do that a lot lately.

I won't bore you with the details of my children's church escapades. Actually, they're not boring, because they involve mishearing the words of the stake president and repeating what they're heard. Loudly. But they're good enough to be blog fodder in my own place.

But this was hilarious. I read it aloud to my husband and, in case you haven't noticed, that's the ultimate measure of hilarity in our house.

Qait said...

Yeah, this makes me laugh.
We live with my husband's parents, and they're all about bringing loads of stuff to church for my son to play with.
And here I'd boasted of how good my little boy is, being so reverent in church. Psh. Not now! The toys really are awful, but the family would bring them anyway for the two littlest girls.
3( that's a sad face with the eyes closed. Picture it like it's me looking all righteously sad for those who just don't get parenting like I so very much do.
I'm with That Girl and the others who concurred on the whole Silence thing when the kid has to be taken out. Of the chapel.
(Man, those times are great for challenging my righteous judgment capabilities. Those parents slouching on the couches, eating food, picking their noses, falling asleep, or visiting so loudly that I can't hear whatever talk is going on...while their kids turn the foyer inside out)

AS Amber said...

I musta been sleep-commenting again! So I had this fantastic comment all done up and I don't know where it went.

I think I said something about having gone to church with mom this past week and had no less than THREE bags of treats for Harley. Two trucks and three books. And guess what? He actually was pretty good. HOWEVER! I seriously sat there at one point and thought, "wow, it's really loud in here". But whatever. We're Mormons and we make lots of babies. And babies (whether 20 months or 20 years) make noise.

And hell no DeNae didn't hear Elder Oaks's talk! She was too busy TEXTING the director of the Tab Choir!!! (Remember that one measure where they sounded like they didn't know what the crap they were doing? That's because their director momentarily reached in his pocket and checked his phone.) That's right, folks. You heard it here first. DeNae's a chexter. One who texts in church.

Also, (as if this comment wasn't already too long) as I was sitting in SS I was wishing you were the teacher. Actually I wish that every time I'm in Sunday School.

Loves!

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

Perhaps God knows I am a weakling or something, but I have been really blessed with kids who are pretty darn good at church. We've certainly had a few bad days, but like That Girl said, they know a trip out is never as fun as coloring a picture quietly in the pew.
Now the grocery store ... that's a WHOLE different story.

Corinne said...

i just want to say that it was ME who taught my MOM about that ebenezer thing! ME ME ME ME ME!!!! she's not all THAT wise...GEEZ...

oh, and the post was funny and stuff. yeah. =)

Christy Gibson said...

I loved this blog. I feel the same way about the kids at church. I think it's our age. I'm so glad I'm passed the stage of wondering why I even bothered showing up. Thanks for the laugh.

AllisonK said...

Seriously the funniest thing I have read all week. I am constantly taking my children out the doors. It will be nice when they are teenagers and will sleep through the meeting.

Thank you for the giggle.

Jen said...

I'm all for hauling them out to sit in a hard chair in an empty room until they can walk reverently back in. But, the days when I hauled them out more than 3 or 4 times in a single hour, got a bit long. I cut out food of any kind a couple of years back--very successful. I was so tired of picking up crumbs. They do pretty good these days. I've been so meaning to go through the church back and cut down on activities though. You've inspired me.

Marian said...

I have not laughed so hard in a very long time. What a wonderful writer you are! I am so glad I came across your blog - I will definitely return. And we sit on the very back row so all those kids you mentioned can entertain my 19 month old so he will just sit and watch.

Rebecca said...

Hahahahahahahaha.

I think I'm in love with your blog.

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

How is it I've missed out on your blog for so long?
I loved this! And this is coming from a mom of three toddlers and a baby!
I can safely say that we spend 3/4 of Sacarament meeting in the hallways, some dark classroom, or standing outside by the car while one kid is screaming their lungs out from the car seat. Sometimes our oldest is left alone on the bench as both my husband and I are out with one or two kids each.
Ah, the joy of Sundays.