Thursday, December 24, 2009

Cyanide Mart

It does not pay to take chances...

December 24:

It's Christmas Eve! And you're practically finished with the preparations!


All that remains is the early morning "dry run", when you lock the bedroom door and lay everything out to check for balance and accuracy.

You'll need the fudge AND the Diet Coke and maybe even the Pompeii cookies with you for this one, because 'minutes before zero hour' you'll realize that three of your kids' piles look like you staged raids on Fort Knox, Tiffany's, and Apple headquarters, and the fourth kid's pile consists of a partially opened package of Hanes tube socks and a DVD you discovered yesterday he already owns.

I'm so very, very sorry. You're going to have to return to one of those "Mart" stores. Take the fudge with you (and maybe your Ronco "Pocket Taser", as seen on T.V.)


M-Cat said...

I'm headed out at dawns first light. Pray for me. And diet coke is already in the works.

Merry Christmas friend!

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

Merry Christmas, DeNae. May the fudge fulfill all your magical Christmas dreams.

The Garden of Egan said...

I'm not going to get a chance for the dry run...locked bedroom appraisal. I'm in the ER for the next 12 hours seeing patients.
I wonder what they will want for Christmas this year....pain pills most likely.
Hope you are able to get things evened out in the bedroom.
Have a great Christmas.
Hope you don't have to go to the Fudge Detox Center for Addictions Unbridled after Christmas. I know they are running a special, but I hope you can manage on your own.

Kristina P. said...

I wish you a very Merry Christmas, my friend.

Oh, I got a new phone and lost your number. Want to text me?

Jessica said...

Merry Fudgy Christmas. This is always one of my nightmares, 1 kid left out. Solution...return the gifts for the other kids and they all look like they got skipped.

L.T. Elliot said...

Oh, I've had my panic moment. Yesterday. It was followed by much sobbing, "Imacrapmom-itis", and dashing through the snow--wherein I landed on my right ankle. =P

Pass the fudge and down the Diet Coke.

(Merry Christmas, DaNae! Love ya!)

Becca said...

Totally happened this morning while I was prepping stockings. Ick. I had to raid my "gift stash" where I can find birthday presents without notice - and also my school supply stash. But I made it work, so she never has to know she was the one with the least loot. (Shoot. There goes Mom of the Year. Again.)

Travis said...

Have fun stormin the castle! WE had to do that today today-mucho fudge required

tammy said...

These have been so much fun to read! Can you believe my Mom forgot to send me the world famous fudge this year? I'm feeling so gypped.

Hope you have a very Merry Christmas!