Well, the Plucky Girl Detective is hot on the trail now. This is a very exciting time in my novel. So far in her investigation, she has ruled out the drag queen with the heart of gold, the vet who only works on three legged animals, the hobo who was run over by the Heber Creeper in the prologue and is never mentioned again, and the suspicious looking eggplant growing in her neighbor's flower box.
I'm beginning to think she isn't a very bright Plucky Girl Detective, since the murderer just walked up to her, revved up a chainsaw, and said, "I guess you caught me fair and square," and she replied, "Hey, I didn't know you could juggle!"
22: I'm thankful for Isaiah. And Jeremiah. And Moses, Ezekiel, Amos, and that sexy-talking Hosea, who I believe uses the word "whoredoms" more times than a Las Vegas census taker.
I really love the scriptures, and I have a special place in my heart for the Old Testament. Where else can you hope to find passages like, "And when they awoke, they were all corpses"? I mean, is that not the best line ever? I don't know about you, but I freaking hate it when I wake up and discover that sometime during the night I'd become a corpse.
Or how about those sons of Jacob, who decided that the best way to wipe out a city was to first convert everyone to their faith, talk all the men into getting circumcised just to show willing, and then attack while the poor shmoes were sitting in their La-Z-Boys, watching Jay Leno with ice packs in their laps?
This year I'm teaching an Institute class on Isaiah, and it has only taken us three months to get through the first five chapters. At this rate, we'll finish Isaiah in roughly the same time it took King James' monks to insert all the dirty limericks into the book of Numbers.
(Oh, they're in there. You obviously haven't read it enough.)
The Old Testament is fast and furious, and a great way to see God in the extremes of His power and love. When things are going well, He's right there, in Person, pouring out miracle upon miracle to keep His people happy.
And when they rebel, as they do approximately every seventeen seconds, He is all about the fire and brimstone and letting folks know just Who is running this here Universe.
From fiery flying serpents to rivers of blood, infestations of frogs to 185,000 very surprised, very dead Assyrians, there is something in the Old Testament for everyone.
And you gotta hand it to Isaiah. He chose the most fabulous name for a son of anyone in any testament, Old, New, or Another:
"Maher-shalal-hash-baz", which if I'm not mistaken, is ancient Hebrew for "My Dad Really Wanted a Girl."