Saturday, November 21, 2009

DMoG, Day Twenty-One, & Blog Post Number 100!

One of my writing buddies has given up on NaNo. I'm devastated. If only she had let someone know she was in pain, had talked to one of us about the fragile hold she had on her story line, had gotten help ending the abuse she was enduring at the hands of her hostile cast of characters, then maybe we could have saved her. Particularly since, after yesterday's dumping of an online dictionary into my manuscript, I certainly could have spared her a cup of prepositions.

And it wasn't until I saw this up on my dashboard that I realized this is my 100th post! In celebration, I'm giving away a gall bladder full of stones, and I'll throw in a minor hernia for the first two thousand commenters. No, really, I insist...

21: Estoy agradecido por Esmeralda y su madre. Every now and then, my house gets to the point where it's either burn it to the ground in an insurance fire or call in the experts.

Since I'm pretty sure my karma would never let me get away with perpetrating fraud - this is the same karma that saw to it that the other day while I was backing my Yukon out of a microscopic parking space at my doctor's office I managed to tap the rear bumper of the only car in the lot where the driver was still in the vehicle, riled up and ready to pop me in the chops - I choose to hire a wonderful woman named Esmeralda to come and work her magic on my critically dirty home.

Esmeralda speaks very little English, and her mother, who comes with her, speaks none at all. But they are both the sweetest, most pleasant people in the world, and having them here has given me the opportunity to expand my Spanish language abilities to include the phrases "I haven't seen my vacuum since Labor Day" and "Huh. That explains why it wouldn't flush."

I think anyone who can still look you in the eye after cleaning a month's worth of spaghetti shrapnel out of your microwave is someone to be cherished, and I would be an ungrateful slob if I didn't take a minute to thank her.

*Gracias, Esmeralda. Tu ayuda es muy importante a mi y mi familia, y estoy agradecido que tu me visitas cada mes. Pero tenga cuidado al limpiar el cuarto de baño. Hay algo extraño en el lavabo...

* It's been a long time since I had to write anything in Spanish, but I think this means "Thank you , Esmeralda. Your help is very important to me and my family, and I am grateful that you visit me every month. But be careful cleaning the bathroom. There is something strange in the toilet..."

Or it could mean, "I swear, there was money in the account when I wrote you that check."


Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

I have my own Esmeralda, who is also a Relief Society president in the Spanish branch, and next to my husband, I doubt anyone knows the true me better than her. Little does she know that most of what I pay her is meant to keep her quiet. :)

The Garden of Egan said...

I would LOVE to have an Esmerelda...I used to and she came weekly......oh I miss those days.

Brooke said...

Ohhh, how I miss Cennet! She was my weekly salvation when we lived in Turkey. She arrived at 7am, cleaned the house top to bottom (changed sheets, scrubbed floors, did all the laundry, vacuumed the cat . . . seriously, everything). She also watched my kids and made a full dinner before she left at 5pm.

All for $20/day. WHY did we ever leave??? (And Jessica, if you're reading this, WHY did you not take advantage of this!?!?)

Kristina P. said...

Does Esmerelda travel? I could really use a house cleaning.

Jessica said...

I would find myself following her around and straightening things the way that I liked instead. I am a bit particular about things.:) Although I may be less crazy if I had an Esmeralda or Cennet.

L.T. Elliot said...

You should loan her to me--especially since I'm in the trenches of Nano and it's TOTAL WARFARE. My MS is killing me. Killing me. That jerkwad.

AS Amber said...

I want one!!! I think having a gal come clean my house might actually inspire me to clean it before she got here.

I know that's what our mother used to do. Clean for the cleaning lady.

I hope you're feeling ok! I seriously feel like the biggest jerk for forgetting you were having that done yesterday :(

Love ya!