How do illustrations figure into word count? I'm thinking of putting in just one, right where I'm at now, and while it's a pretty straightforward drawing depicting exactly what I intend to tell the next person who suggests I write a 50,000 word novel in the 2nd busiest month of the year, I still hope it takes a full page. I want that finger to have maximum impact, clearly emphasizing that some pictures really are worth a thousand words.
24: I'm thankful for Christmas movies. This week we'll start watching our favorites, and they'll pretty much be the staple of all things visual for the next month.
Who doesn't cringe with ghoulish delight when Flick sticks his tongue to the flagpole? And do you love the logic behind why the kids all leave him out there, snowed on and fused to that pole? "The bell rang!" HA! We're all so Pavlovian, not a one of us sees any flaw to that reasoning.
Or how about the line, "Randy lay there like a slug. It was his only defense." Poetry! Sheer poetry, Ralph!
My favorite Christmas movie is The Grinch with Jim Carrey. I love that he does his own singing on "Mr. Grinch," and the best line in the movie is, of course, "Blast this Christmas music! It's joyful AND triumphant!" Absolute genius.
Is there anyone who wouldn't know exactly what is meant by the words "Charlie Brown Christmas tree"?
I once got in trouble for doing the "I'm Mr. Green Christmas" dance from "The Year Without a Santa Claus" in school. It wasn't that Mr. Bailey was opposed to dancing, it was mostly that he disapproved of my doing it during a history exam.
And speaking of men named Bailey, please tell me I'm not the only one who has to suppress an urge to smack ZuZu Bailey right upside the mug when she insists that her father George repair her damaged flower petals. Either they made two-year olds a lot taller back in the 40s, or that kid needed a serious reality check along the lines of "Hey, kid, you're at least 10! You're only just now figuring out how flowers work? C'mon, you little dingbat, snap out of it!"
In December I'll post the Christmas movie quiz I did for our family Christmas letter last year. It will take up at least 12 minutes that you would otherwise spend stressing over how to keep the dog from whizzing on the tree or whether your mother-in-law will notice that you re-gifted the "Holly Hobby" table runner she gave you last year to the Foundation for the Elimination of Obscenely Tacky Holiday Decor.
Meanwhile, break out the popcorn and the eggnog, turn on that 'major award' gleaming in the front window, and cozy up with Ralphie, Randy, and the most insensitive department store Santa ever to grace the silver screen.
This Thursday, that's exactly what me and mine will be doing.