Thursday, November 5, 2009

DMoG, Day Five

If you're just joining me, scroll back to Day One to get the low-down on why I'm writing micro-posts instead of my usual epic tomes. Seriously, you won't regret it. Sometimes I amaze myself with my wisdom, poetic genius, and enviable humility. Whoops. Gotta run. Time to take my medication...

5: I'm thankful for my cell phone. I will never understand people who complain about cell phones. I am absolutely in love with mine. And when I've got my bluetooth dealio in my ear, I feel just like Uhura from "Star Trek." ("Captain, we're being hailed by the Klingon vessel. Oh, and do you think my skirt is short enough? Because I could try wrapping it around my head.")

However, after years of careful observation and study, it has become apparent to me that I am the only person on earth capable of talking on a cell phone while driving. I don't know why, but the rest of you simply can not handle it.

Even Captain Kirk had someone else fielding his calls from the Klingons. He knew he had to, you know, sit there commandingly. There's no shame in admitting you can't do everything.

So, please, keep your hands on the wheel, and leave the multi-tasking to the experts.

(Uhura and me.)

11 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I knit sweaters for blind children in Africa, AND talk on my cell phone while driving. Booyah!

Mallory said...

You are still funny, even when just writing blurbs! Are you going to share your novel with all your dedicated readers when you are done???

L.T. Elliot said...

I bow down to your cell-phone-talking-prowess. I am like two goats at the wheel and that's BEFORE extra technology.

Brooke said...

Sorry, but I'm a pathological cell phone talker while driving. I can't even drive half a mile away to drop off some library books without feeling the irresistable compulsion to call someone. It's like trying to watch a movie without a bowl of popcorn on my lap - impossible.

Of course, I never really loved my cell phone until I got an iPhone. Oh baby. I do LOVE my iPhone!

Sarah said...

I thought I was the only one with this particular ability. I know none of the other parents, whose kids go to the same school as mine, can do it. (sorry if that made no sense!)

Melanie J said...

I love you because you quote Star Trek.

And WTH does it mean that your word verification says, "Cheateme."

Hm?

Kazzy said...

As a recent convert to the iPhone I am even more in love than usual with my cell phone.

The Garden of Egan said...

DeNae.......it may be time for an intervention!

Sher said...

I have been reading your grateful posts, (and not commenting).

I need to take your example and be grateful for stuff.

I love my cell phone, too. Well, I could love my cell phone. It has the capability of doing all these really cool things, but my husband disable all of the them for me, so I wouldn't spend extra money. So it's only a talking device and time telling device now.

AS Amber said...

I, too, am thankful for my cell phone. In fact if there was a fire in my home I think I'd grab my cell phone, then DVR all while screaming at the kids, "save yourselves!!!"

Take away my cell phone and you might as well take away my thumbs, too.

M-Cat said...

I am in love with my cell phone and need the bumper sticker that says" Quit honking! I'm on the phone!"