Sunday, November 8, 2009

DeNae's Month o' Gratitude, Day Eight

Well, I've had to start my novel completely over. From scratch. It turns out someone already wrote "War and Peace." Hello?? Why didn't you all say something??

8: I'm thankful for eyelash curlers. And hair spray. And push-up lingerie. And all those other tools aging beauties like yours truly require to get out the door on a Sunday morning. Without them, our photographs could be offered to environmentalists as a chemical-free alternative for scaring roaches.

Have you seen those pictures of 19th century middle-aged women? Do they look happy?

No. They. Do. Not.

And do you know why? It's because all their eyelashes have fallen out and their hair got thin and weird after their 40th birthdays and their boobs could be used as divining rods, what with their pointing straight down and only inches away from hidden water sources.

So a big "muchas smooches" to Maybelline, Paul Mitchell, and Victoria's little secrets. Couldn't do it withoutcha, peeps!

10 comments:

The Garden of Egan said...

I'm feeling gratitude for those things too.....that's so weird. We must be related. Oh, never mind. I must be older than you!

M-Cat said...

Yes, gratitude indeed. Although I'll pass on the eyelash curler. Still can't figure the damn thing out

Annette Lyon said...

I don't believe you. Your first novel is probably something totally brilliant, but you're too close to see that.

And you're breaking a MASSIVE NaNo rule. The POINT is to be willing to write CRAP so you can spew forth whatever comes out--and therefore unlock your internal censor.

THAT is how you end up finding the good stuff.

Stinker.

You'd better not start a third one, or I'll hunt you down.

Kazzy said...

Great list of things to be grateful for!

ANd just keep writing. The exercise here is to crank it out. A very very rough draft, but writing and writing. I would love to read what you are writing!

L.T. Elliot said...

The world is grateful to me for using those things. =]

Lara said...

Oh yes. All the beautifying equipment. Very grateful for it. Especially my girdle (or "stomacher" as my scriptorian husband likes to call it).

Well, hey, if you wrote War and Peace in a week, you can certainly write something even better in three more! Good luck!

Hel said...

Loved it! I am so not in a witty response frame of mind. But just wanted to let you know that I gagged and laughed at the same time while reading this post.

so sorry about the war and peace thing. I'll try not to take anymore of your ideas.

Sarah said...

AMEN AND AMEN!!!!

AS Amber said...

I used to cut my bangs every Sunday morning. I called it my "Sunday morning harido". When my hair won't do what I want it to so I cut it to make it look...well, worse, actually.

What is it about Sunday that makes us have to break out the big-guns in order to make it to church?

WV: winchlo Reminds me of those 19th century women you spoke of.

Dustin and Melanie said...

In light of that post, I'm grateful for my YOUTH!! May middle age never reach my voluminous hair and (slightly) perky chestal region( I did have a kid). As for the eyelash curler, been using that friend since I was old enough to pinch it together over my curiously straight eyelashes. Thanks for making me think of things to be grateful for!