Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Someone Please Save Me From Myself

Let me start by saying I'm feeling much better, thanks. You all are so kind and supportive, and your words of encouragement on my last post have been so very much appreciated. You're all invited to sit at the adult table when I'm crowned queen of the universe. Print this post and bring it with you; it's your ticket in and can not be transferred, duplicated, or hopped on by deranged ninja kangaroos. I mean that.

OK, now on to business.

I'm changing my blog layout, because that's the sort of thing I do when I'm procrastinating cleaning the bathrooms (or procrastinating anything).

And, let me just say: Holy mother of bad taste, Batman! It's not going well.

First, I've settled on the pink that is currently making your eyes cross. It won't last. I feel about pink the way I feel about salmon: I love it right up to the minute it's making me gag. We're talking zero to barfing in under 6 seconds. This particular color has a shelf life of 48 hours, max.

(Note: It is now several hours later, and I have replaced the above mentioned pink with the very cute birdies. They are here on sufferance; I'm still shopping. That is all. Please continue.)

Second, I've forgotten how to add cute doo-dahs. I think there's a web site, the cutest blog something something...

But does anyone have some places I can go that are in my price range (free) and do not under any circumstances reflect the caliber of my personal decorating skills? I mean, if I could do this on my own, my scrapbooks would actually be books, and not file folders full of - duh - scraps.

For that matter, I would be willing to advertise the crap out of your website on my oh-so-famous blog if you would just volunteer to help me put together something that doesn't cause seizures when you look at it too long.

(Look! 47 followers! Forty-seven people actually willing to say, "Yes, I read this nonsense and I don't care WHO knows it mostly because my profile name and picture are both completely fake and if you still manage to figure out who I am I'll totally deny following the Backordered Life lady's blog or maybe pretend I was trying to follow Kristina's blog and hit the wrong button!" That's loyalty you can take to the bank, folks!)

Anyway, this post is open to suggestions and ideas for great blog decor that doesn't cost much and can be handled by someone whose place on the technological evolutionary chain is somewhere between "matter unorganized" and "trilobite".

Please include insultingly explicit instructions on how to carry out your suggestions. Assume I know nothing. Assume you're explaining this to an amoeba. An amoeba with an embarrassingly short attention span. And the tendency to accidentally reformat her hard drive. THAT is the amoeba you're explaining these things to.

Let the creativity FLOW!! (From you, I mean...)


NIKOL said... is one, but there's lots of sites out there with free templates you can use.

Happy redecorating!

That Girl in Brazil said...

I'd answer ... but I can't answer.

I'll be checking back later. I need to do some redecorating myself.

Della Hill said...

I use
She has tons of adorable layouts and suitably insultingly easy instructions for using them.
And, *bonus, it's totally free.

templework said...

there are a number of free design sites listed in my right hand sidebar (scroll down) smile

I found since I am no longer able to physically rearrange my furniture (MY stress release)
Rearranging my blog background is just as cathartic!


(I won't disclose how many I may go through before I find the "Right One"!
I've always wondered what people think who might pop in during the process!!! LOL)

Good luck - Enjoy!

R Max said...

I like Pyzam but I don't recommend you use it unless you want to redo all your sidebars because it will replace your layout and not just your background so yeah... stick to cutestblogontheblock.

tammy said...

Cutestblogontheblock is free, AND she's in my ward and is adorable. She also has cute little blings to add too.

brudcrew said...

I also like
Good luck!

Hel said...

oooh! DeNAe... I came back to comment on the puke pink, but found some lovely birdies instead.

Is it likely you will change your background again? I may just sit here and refresh your blog all day. That should keep me entertained for the most part of the day. Leftovers for dinner tonight Dal, I just couldn't step away from the computer for ONE second!

Melanie J said...

I don't think this pink is so bad. My first layout featured a Pepto Bismol shade that was exruciating, and this is much better.

Second, um, I don't know anything about design and html and all that. I just describe what I want to my husband and say, "Do that, okay?" I'm actually PAYING for a design (when I get around to picking one) because I'm that backwards.

I have a feeling spring is going to engender a lot of blog cleaning.

Oh, and I'll be responding to your predestination comment AT LENGTH (mwah ha ha ha!) but I have to catch up on a bunch of blogs first. You've been warned.

aunt dyanne said...

well... i will be of next to zero help here. I barely learned in less than the last 30 days - how to even ADD a "cutest blog on the block" background to my blog.

I think it will be St. Patricks Day forever....cuz I like the celtic decor on it.

Lara said...

Dealing with the blog backgrounds is beyond my ability. That is why mine is white. I do make my own headers in photoshop, and I will admit, they've gotten progressively better, but some of them were really, really bad. :)

And, because I'm taking a computer break (shh...don't tell anyone I'm here, but I did clean out my fridge today), I didn't see your last post. What a hard decision! I would be a wreck in your position, but if you feel peace and serenity I suppose it will all be okay, yes? But hugs to you anyway, because it's still hard.

SO said...

I like the birdies and the pink. I would help but my expertise only goes so far as to how to change the backgrounds and make a header here and there. Sorry.

AS Amber said...

Pretty sure you've already tapped my blog redecorating knowledge. I went to the cutest blog thing this weekend and they had some cute blingy stuff but I had to download something and Tavis said it slowed our computer way down. I don't know if it did or not.

Are you going to make "aunt dyanne" change her St. Patrick's day theme, too??? lol

"What are your colors?"
"They're blush and bashful."
"Her colors are pink and pink!"
"My colors are blush and bashful. I have chosen two shades of pink. One is much deeper than the other."
"Sanctuary looks like it's been hosed down with Pepto Bismol."
"I like pink. Pink is my signature color."

Quick, DeNae! What show???

MommyJ said...

the last time I rearranged my blog, I spent hours reading tutorials about html code and sidebar width, and pixels, and tiled backgrounds, and what not... then I changed everything and got it exactly how I wanted it, then promptly forgot how to do any of the changing...

So I am no help, to myself... or to you.

I don't mind the birdies... I think they're lovely.

Karen said...

Yeah, I am really no help whatsoever on this one. I'm paying a fortune to have my blog personalized and I'm somewhere on the designer's schedule for "sometime this year." I just have this thing about wanting something no one else has...but I know I should have gone about it the free way instead. Oh well!

R Max said...

Thanks for your latest comment! Yes, I put that HG2G phrase in my post just for you.

And yes, it was the councilman! You are the only one who noticed! I don't think even MM got it and I have subjected him to the original tv series several times.

Mariel said...

Sorry to confuse you on my blog! It's just Jessica and I that post but on Sundays we ask one of our faithful viewers to post. So, you better watch out!

Jessica said...

Amber- I love that and pink!
DeNae, I always have to either have Jaylynn or Brooke on the phone just to figure out how to send an email (or post a picture on my blog). I don't know how to do much more than make a mean loaf of bread.

Becky said...

I have very little knowledge on this subject and have been wanting a better header for some time. Please post what you learn from your adventures, though!

AS Amber, that quote is from Steel Magnolias (which I love!).

Becky said...

Looks like the birdies are standing the test of time. Yay!

Karen said...

I gave you an award. Just wanted to let you know!

Lisa Loo said...

I'm on the cutest blog on the block wagon. BUT I have learned this very PAINFUL lesson--if it says to save your stuff first cuz it might delete it--it will--so do it.
I feel so deprived--it was just the birdies when I got here. It looked like someone threw up peach jam with mold on it at my wedding--so you probably don't want my help--really.
But I really like the ones with patterns that permanately cross your eyes--if that helps..

Lisa Loo said...

Shoot!! Shoot! Shoot! I just looked at my blog--I stand corrected--- I am on the One Cute Blogwagon---you just can't leave me alone for a minute--

R Max said...

So - I emailed you but if you didn't get it, here is my address

SCP said...

take the birdies to the gun range and practice blowing their heads right off as all they will do is chirp and sing until you want to blow YOUR head off. and it that bird don't sing, it most likley poop on your windsheild either way your nerves will be racked!

Shawn said...

I DO like thecutestblogontheblock---and its free!!

You are awesome that you have so many followers and that you have so many comments...

I'm not worthy.

Travis and Amber said...

I could design something for you. After I tried to help my sister with her blog and then she put the excat same background and layout as mine (yes she must certainly suffer from little sister syndrome-wants to be independent but doesn't know how and gets mad at you when you say she isn't) then I designed my own.
Just give me some colors, a few looks that you may like and it'll at least keep me busy from doing things I would rather not be doing, and hey-it's free.
Let me know!