Tuesday, February 3, 2009

How Totally Random

I've got so many tags from Facebook pals asking me to list 25 things no one could even fake being interested in I feel like a Blue Light special. But when Steph at Diapers and Divinity invited me to come up with a mere eight factoids, well, that seemed a bit more manageable.

Besides, I'm still procrastinating my orchestration, so I really owe Steph a big "Muchas Smoochas, Amiga!"

Anyway, here are eight things that you would never in a million years have imagined needing to know about anyone, let alone yours truly. For purely humanitarian reasons, I'll try to keep it brief:

1: I'm left handed, except for the things I do right handed. Like throwing a ball (badly; I'd have to attend Major League training camp just to get good enough to be accused of throwing like a girl), golfing (worse than throwing a ball; I'm on Scotland's "10 Most Wanted" list), and using scissors (which I almost never, ever throw, unless I'm scrapbooking, but then, of course, who could blame me).

2: Believe it or not, I am a published author. Eight years ago I wrote a book called "The Accidental Gringo", which was about life for Americans who find themselves living in Puerto Rico. It is as life-changing a literary masterpiece as my blog, but it sold enough copies (at the San Juan Borders, no less) to pay for a family trip to Disneyland. I still have a number of unsold copies of "The Accidental Gringo" on account of our family leaving PR a year earlier than we anticipated, and - here's a big shock - folks in Las Vegas just aren't that interested in a book about life in Puerto Rico. Philistines.

3: Although I grew up in Salt Lake City, UT, I have never been skiing. This may explain why I have also never broken a limb, smashed into a tree at 40 knots, or had one of those silly goggle-shaped sunburns.

4: All four of my babies were delivered by Caesarean section. This was not by choice. Apparently I have a titanium.....well, that's probably more information than you need to read in a family blog.

5: I have only ever served in one auxiliary presidency in the church, and that was the six months I was the Relief Society president in our ward on Mercer Island, WA. Evidently the Lord decided to smite Mercer Island, and this seemed the most efficient method.

6: On the other hand, I have taught Sunday School for the better part of the last 18 years. I am so "visual aid" challenged my class thinks it's Christmas if I use chalk. I assume that word of my tablecloth allergy and pinking shear paralysis got around, since....

7: ....I have never had a calling in Young Women or Relief Society, except for the aforementioned smiting.

8: Despite having a degree in music and essentially making my living as a free-lance musician, I don't listen to any music when I drive or when I'm alone at home. To me, there is no more beautiful melody than the Song of No One Bugging Me, and I like to listen to it without distractions.


Riveting stuff, huh? Admit it, you totally wish you were me. Just keep in mind, all this dazzle comes at a price, which I'm pretty sure is written on one of my tags.

Now will someone please turn off that stupid blue light?

17 comments:

Lara said...

I am the same way...I can't listen to music while I am driving. It's way too distracting to me. I enjoy the silence. Unless there are kids in the car with me, and well...music is still distracting then.

I loved reading your tag. You really should do the 25 things one...although, I've been studiously ignoring it as well.

Brooke said...

Mercer Island, eh? Hoity-Toity. There are vicious rumors circulating around my own little Pacific NW island that we are becoming too "Mercer Islandish" - and people are FREAKING OUT! :-)

And I tried to find your book on Amazon - no luck. But I did find "Adventures of a Gringo Family Living in Latin America." Friends of yours? :-)

And, finally, re: church callings . . . Man, someone up there must really like you, 'cuz Sunday School is the place to be! No meetings! Whenever I score a S.S. calling, I bribe my class with candy so that they will randomly go up to the bishop and tell him, "My testimony is strengthened each Sunday with S. Russell as my teacher." The only calling better than S. S. teacher is Sacrament Meeting Greeter - but in our ward you have to be verge of death (age-wise) to score that spot.

NatureGirl said...

You are the most incredibly interesting woman that I have never met...

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

Yay! This was great! Thanks for doing it.

Teaching Gospel Doctrine is my favorite calling, hands down. It forces me to read the scriptures regularly and with purpose, and I learn a ton. It's been years, though... maybe I should start dropping hints to my bishop, like by having nervous breakdowns in the middle of primary.

I would love to read your book. Seriously. As a self-proclaimed latin culture aficionada, I'd get a kick out of it. Plus, it would remind me that I still know how to read books.

You're awesome DeNae; I feel lucky to "know" you.

Hel said...

DeNae, My silly husband (that's what he told me to call him) wants to know when you lived on Mercer Island. He served his mission in Seattle ('98 - 2000) and had Mercer Island as one of his areas (1999). I seem to remember you saying that it was a while ago that you were there, though.

Published author?! Whooo... I really am rubbing shoulders with the rich and the famous now! Now is the time to start selling them to all the literary starved "stuck-at-home" mothers that follow your blog (I am probably the only one in that category).

MommyJ said...

I'm left handed too. But I cut with my right hand. I got really tired of teachers making a big deal of trying to find me left handed scissors. So I picked up regular scissors with my right hand and never looked back.

I can't throw a ball with either hand.

wendy said...

I like blue light specials --and it was nice learning those things about you. Wanted in Scotland eh.....hmmmm. (talented lady, not to mention the way you are able to evade authorities in Scotland)

Jessica said...

Do you play the piano right handed or left handed? I am right handed when it comes to piano, but then again I think you taught me a bit (in our younger years) and so you should know that.

Hel said...

Yes, I did fall of the face of the earth for a while. Family will do that to you. Dal said that all those names sounded familiar, but then went on to say he only served there for 3 or 4 months. Hmmm... an exercise in futility?

Amber said...

K wait...is Jessica serious? Is there really such a thing as playing the piano right or left handed? Pretty sure I missed that day when you were teaching that.

And not only do I listen to music in the car but when I'm alone in the car (like when I drive to pick Hayden & Avery from Scott's) I listen to it very, very loudly. I. Love. It. That's truly one of my most favorite times. No baby ears to worry about damaging. No children not saying a single word for 30 minutes and then when a song comes on that I like enough to turn up louder they decide THAT'S when they need to talk to me. Just me and Abba. Cranked.

I loved your Gringo book. And I've never set foot in PR!

Sher said...

I love getting to know you better! So, if you have a music degree, how on earth did you pass under the radar without getting music callings?
I have only had 2 callings IN MY LIFE that weren't related to music. I love music, but a change would be nice once in a while.

Sher said...

p.s. You should have a blog giveaway and give one of your books!

R Max said...

You have a titanium....what? Really? You don't say!!! I bet Douglas could've written a book about it...

I just received "The Light Fantastic" by Terry Pratchett, in the mail!

cellista said...

Hi! This was so fun to read. I found your blog last week sometime (I have no idea how) and thought I'd finally comment. You make me laugh! I love how you procrastinate, I am the same way. I procrastinate my practicing. I'm also a musician (cellist) and hardly ever listen to music either. There's just only so much I can take from orchestra rehearsals, cello students, my practicing, my son's practicing. I just need peace and quiet! And though I live in SLC, I've never been skiing either! (Except for cross-country a few times which isn't so bad or as life-threatening when you take the downhill part out of the equation.)

blogismycopilot said...

normall, i'm not much a fan of the "tag" post...but I thoroughly enjoyed this one!

Becky said...

Steph from Diapers and Divinity sent me over and I have really enjoyed reading your blog. You have a fabulous sense of humor!

Cindy said...

Denae, I LOVE YOU TO DEATH. I'm so glad to say 'I KNEW YOU WHEN...." and I still 'know you now'....keep it up; you make us laugh in a world of chaos!